The Horror of Castrati Mansion


     No one knew whose were next!

Psycho, Shower Scene, Opening Measures
Bernard Herrmann, Composer
National Philharmonic Orchestra

Happy Halloween!

Loleeta Morales: A Context



I did not really understand the language or the sexuality in  the “Loleeta” vignettes until I understood dissociative  identity disorder.

I thought that the events in the writing were descriptions of reality.

They are not.

No fragment of self has the entire story.

Each alternate has different memories, ages, and time zones.

Some of my posts may contradict others.

By agreement, my alternates do not say who they are.

We are united under the name of Rob Goldstein but the union is often in tatters.

When I started this blog, I had not yet discovered the hidden writing that was in plain sight all over my apartment.

Sorting through it and making sense of the work is difficult and as  I do it, I sometimes lose time

I sat down to write this bog entry at 9 AM.

It is now 4:03PM.

I’ve toned down the language but the language is still strong and the themes are adult.

In going through journals, I find entries written by Rob Goldstein at the beginning of the hospitalization  described in “Los Portales.”

He wrote:

“April 12,It is 12:13 AM and I’m in a crisis clinic.The waiting room is furnished with modular chairs made of hard orange plastic. Each chair faces a big screen TV and is bolted into place. The staff sits behind a black wooden desk that rises around them like a wall.All eyes are on the screen as John Davidson condemns one of his contestants to the land of hulas and leis.

The $100,000 Dollar Pyramid!

Guess the last word of a popular phrase and you win!

“Corn on the…””Uh…uh!””

It’s a word that starts with Ceee….”

” Uhhh..oh! Cob!?

“You GOT it!”


If you get a ding, a buzzer, or a coo-coo you lose a point.

An exhausted looking staff person takes a sip of coffee.

I want to ask him why I’m there but I feel stuck, as if I am also bolted to the floor.

He notices my gaze and tells me that my life is in a manilla envelope and everything appears ready for transport.

Los Portales: The Suicide Watch


Thank you. This can’t be stressed enough: “There doesn’t have to be a contradiction between taking care of oneself and taking care of one’s clients. Kaiser spokespeople have said something has to give, either patient care or staff salaries.”

Health care professionals who would sacrifice patient care for a salary increase have no business in medicine.