This year I discovered that my alternates write to each other.
I found this letter from Bobby to Sara composed in 2010 with her reply.
I was surprised to find the correspondence because I didn’t know that some of my alternates considered each other friends and allies.
The logic of Dissociative Identity Disorder is that some aspects of the self are perceived as “other”.
“Sara” is a “protector” Alternate.
I think that she was the first alternate, which means that she
emerged in childhood.
She will always comes out when one of the younger alters
Bobby is the teen alter who first joined Second Life to use it as
a tool to “grow up”.
To some extent, he’s been successful.
There are many letters filed under ‘Letters from Home”.
Most of them are from Bobby to Bob.
Bobby wrote this to Sara as a 15-year-old.
It is the only letter from Bobby to Sara.
Her reply follows this post.
i’m at battery park in Charleston watching an old guy with a
big box of crackers.
he’s feeding it to a flock of pigeons.
it reminds me of the story of exodus.
you reckon god threw manna at us a watched
sometimes i think life is magic but grown ups don’t
wanna talk about magic.
ok, so, i got a question:
let’s say one day u meet someone an this person sez they got alotta love for you an wanna do good by you but somethin’ dont feel right but you need to be loved an the dude seems straight up but there’s a shadow that you don’t really see but you know it’s there and it feels familiar.
but you don’t want to lose the love so u try to make room for the shadow by telling yourself it ain’t there, when bam!
you catch the dude in a lie, like when we was robby, with nasty secrets, an the cruel bruises and words that slice your soul.
so you try to talk about it cuz you wanna believe it’s all in your head so you say to the dude that says he loves you, you say: “i’m scared that somethin’ is wrong.”
right away he starts calling me names an saying i’m a hater an that i ain’t got no gratitude cuz most folks don’t even want to know me an i think, “damn! this feels familiar!”
the only person that will ever love me will leave if i try to talk about these shadows that are now everywhere so i get confused, cuz I really want it to be me, cuz maybe i’m imagining it, cuz maybe i’m a hater an everything about me is wrong.
sara, are those shadows really there?
and i got one last question about thinking life is magic.
how come when i say i think the world is made of magic folks tell me to get over it and grow up?