Art by Rob Goldstein

Another Day, Another Abusive Internet Narcissist

There are days when I feel as is almost everyone who posts to social networking sites are reeling drunks with narcissistic personality disorder.

Yesterday I got this in my Flickr mail. It was entitled “YOU”

It read; “I ran across some comments you posted publicly on a friend’s image and all I can say is it’s pathetic that you chose to publicly humiliate someone in a photos comments instead of sending them a private email.”

I had apparently made the hideous mistake of explaining that group moderators on Flickr reserve the right to remove a photograph from a group pool if the image is not in line with the theme. I explained that this is not a statement on the worth of the work.  I made the comment weeks ago.

I have gotten at least six of these emotional letter bombs since joining Flickr in 2010.

What would prompt someone to send an abusive email to a person she doesn’t know about a comment not made to her?

If I understand the email correctly, I can be as insulting and as abusive as I want in private; which is exactly the way drunken narcissists want it: everything must be a secret; the worst sin is a public statement.

I still carry the scent of an abused child but I am an adult.

I sent her a reply that was very simple and it read, “If the person to whom I made the comment wants to email me with her concerns I will apologize to her.  Until then, I’m not into games.”

The only way to deal with a narcissist in everyday life and on the internet is to keep your boundaries and NOT expect them to change.

If a narcissist were genuinely interested in being more honest and less selfish, she wouldn’t be narcissist.

BTW: I discovered later that the letter bomb came from a woman who had one of her works removed from a group. So instead of directly stating her case she chose to mask it behind the facade  of protecting someone else.

That’s typical too.

It’s as if the ghost of my abusive Mother periodically takes possession of people.

A graphic that describes gaslighting
“Sociopaths and narcissists consistently transgress social mores, break laws, and exploit others, but typically are also charming and convincing liars who consistently deny wrongdoing. Thus, some who have been victimized may doubt their perceptions.” Wikipedia


5 thoughts on “Another Day, Another Abusive Internet Narcissist

  1. Hi…I’m so sorry you had to deal with that kinda shit from that person. You handled it beautifully. Props to you. I’m not a member of flickr myself, so I don’t know a lot about it. Trolls are everywhere though, ignoring them is best IMO. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment. Yes..They seem especially drawn to specific social networking sites.

      If I understand this person’s reasoning, anything is OK
      as long as it is covert.

      Which is why I decided to open it for discussion.

      I pay good money to access the tools I use on the internet.

      It is not my job to “manage” another person’s unreasonable ego…my guess is that they pull
      this stuff because most people roll…

      Thank you again…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have experienced this as well. I’ve experienced it often enough that when I’m on a crowded bus or in a busy place I will scan the scene, note all the “normal” looking people and wonder which ones (plural) are the asshats that do such things on the Net. According to her own press, my chief tormentor was a college educated professional woman in her 30s raising a daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

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