There’s Nowhere to be When You’re Being Here Now

Portrait shor of the lower half of a bearded man's face in red against a white backdrop


28 August 1999 (less than a month, right?)

Hey Dude:

It’s been awhile, but you know. busy, busy, dizzy ol’ me.

There is one letter I wrote to you since my
visit but I didn’t remember to mail it until just now — you know..busy, busy dizzy, ol’ me.

Today be Donny’s commemorence of his birth date day, and we’s having a barbecue in his honor, if he ain’t drunk and if he shows up. Jack be doing the cookin’, I’m on the eating committee. We would save you some leftovers if any are, left over, that is. Maybe we can do it again when you return in your honor. Oops, I didn’t mean to say that your honor. No, I won’t reproach the bench.

I had me one of them commemerence of birth date days too, 4 days ago. It was ho hum, which they seem to get more so of after the first six years. I didn’t get no cake… I didn’t get no party neither…I’ll turn 38 in 2001. Mark your calendar. (That’s one thing that you ought to be getting good at.)

What did I get, you ask? Lessee, mmmmmmmmmmmmm oh yeah I got a couple of CD’s, an inflatable Stegosaurus, an ooh! ohh! That reminds me–you haven’t seen my club-0-saurus yet. He don’t walk softly but he does carry a big stick. Where was I, oh yeah, the “loot”. I got myself a couple of pairs of REAL GOOD sunglasses, A DVD…and a headache.

You got me concerned with talk of Bactrin and Pentantamine. Is the prison doing this as a preventative or did you come down with a case of PCP?

Did I mention that Jake has FINALLLLLLLLLY moved in, lock, stock, and porno? I’d given up but suu-prize, suu-prize, suu-prize.

He was in lockup for 8 months. 8 months… You’d think they would name the Jacuzzi after him.

I guess I better work up an appetite by staring at food for a while.

Until laters dude, when the present will be the past and the future will be now which means there’s nowhere to be when you’re being here now!

Got that?


I found this on an old hard drive along with other writings of which I have no memory. There is no reason for me to think it isn’t mine but I offer this disclaimer just in case: no
copyright infringement intended.


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