Dissociative Strength

Heathers Helpers

When I first found out that I had Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), I thought it was the worst possible psychological diagnoses that could ever be given to a person. If you research it on almost any site, it will begin by saying something along the lines of how DID is the most severe and disabling of all the dissociative disorders.
I also feared that my friends and family would run screaming rather that deal with such a “broken” human being. These were not their feelings about it all. They were mine.
I felt broken, shattered, incomplete, weak, useless, seriously flawed, and impossible to “fix”. One write-up that  I read said that having DID was like having a 3rd degree emotional burn. I truly felt so raw at the time that I would have said that was true.

Fast-forward 2 years and my feelings about it all have changed almost completely. …

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The Trauma of Betrayal

First posted March 08, 2015

Tomas Young was 34 when he died on November 10, 2014 from
wounds he received while serving in Iraq.

The welfare of the men and women who serve in our armed forces and their proper deployment as guardians of our Nation is every citizens concern.

If you are someone who places your political party above the rule of law and the good of the nation you have nothing to say to me. You have no defense.

Young explains why he thought he was going to Iraq in an open letter that he wrote in 2013 to George W. Bush and Dick Cheney:

” I joined the Army two days after the 9/11 attacks. I joined the Army because our country had been attacked. I wanted to strike back at those who had killed some 3,000 of my fellow citizens.”


Young said, ” I called my recruiter after hearing Bush say he was going to smoke the evildoers out of their caves.” The Topeka Capital-Journal

That is what Bush said on September 17, 2001:

“…we’re going to find those evil doers, those barbaric people who attacked our country and we’re going to hold them accountable and we’re going to hold the people who house them accountable….And the Taliban must take my statement seriously…”

George W. Bush Monday, Sept. 17, 2001

The Taliban were in Afghanistan.

Young expected to serve in Afghanistan; isn’t that where Bush said the evil doers were?

According to an interview Young gave to the Kansas City Star, Young could not understand why he was going to Iraq:

While training in the woods of central Texas, he wondered aloud why the U.S. was in Iraq.

“Shut the … up, Young, ” officers told him.”

Young said in an interview with The New York Times in 2008:

“If I had been shot and hurt in Afghanistan…I would not have
felt my wounds were received in an invalid war”

Imagine the pain of feeling as if your life meant nothing to people
you admired and trusted.

In his letter to Bush Tomas Young wrote:

” I would not be writing this letter if I had been wounded fighting in Afghanistan against those forces that carried out the attacks of 9/11. Had I been wounded there I would still be miserable because of my physical deterioration and imminent death, but I would at least have the comfort of knowing that my injuries were a consequence of my own decision to defend the country I love. I would not have to lie in my bed, my body filled with painkillers, my life ebbing away, and deal with the fact that hundreds of thousands of human beings, including children, including myself, were sacrificed by you for little more than the greed of oil companies, for your alliance with the oil sheiks in Saudi Arabia, and your insane visions of empire.”

It is now common knowledge that there were no weapons of mass destruction and documents that were declassified in 2014 affirm that members of the Bush Administration were actively looking for ways to exploit 9/11 as a pretext to invade Iraq.


Betrayal is a wound to the soul.

In his letter to Bush Tomas Young wrote:

“I write this letter on behalf of husbands and wives who have lost spouses, on behalf of children who have lost a parent, on behalf of the fathers and mothers who have lost sons and daughters and on behalf of those who care for the many thousands of my fellow veterans who have brain injuries. I write this letter on behalf of those veterans whose trauma and self-revulsion for what they have witnessed, endured and done in Iraq have led to suicide and on behalf of the active-duty soldiers and Marines who commit, on average, a suicide a day. I write this letter on behalf of the some 1 million Iraqi dead and on behalf of the countless Iraqi wounded. I write this letter on behalf of us all—the human detritus your war has left behind, those who will spend their lives in unending pain and grief…

“…Your positions of authority, your millions of dollars of personal wealth, your public relations consultants, your privilege and your power cannot mask the hollowness of your character. You sent us to fight and die in Iraq after you, Mr. Cheney, dodged the draft in Vietnam, and you, Mr. Bush, went AWOL from your National Guard unit. Your cowardice and selfishness were established decades ago. You were not willing to risk yourselves for our nation but you sent hundreds of thousands of young men and women to be sacrificed in a senseless war with no more thought than it takes to put out the garbage.”

Tomas Young

I chose this month to post this memorial to Tomas Young and as a tribute to the men and women who serve in our military because March 20th marks 12 years since the invasion of Iraq.

There is more than enough evidence to justify an official inquiry into the allegations of a conspiracy to deceive the American people.

One would think that a sense of moral duty to the people who have suffered as a result of this invasion would prompt us to do the one thing that might help them to heal, which is to seek justice, but there is nothing but silence.

It is this silence, this denial of the obvious, this refusal to see the crushing brutality for what it is that wounds the soul of the person who suffers from PTSD.

Justice is the only way to heal the trauma of betrayal.

Declassified talking points reveal the Bush team had decided 9/11 gave them a pretext for a war they had already planned to launch: “…Various scenarios were outlined:  “US discovers Saddam connection to Sept. 11 attack or to anthrax attacks?” reads one of them. “Dispute over WMD inspections?” reads another. “Start now thinking about inspection demands.”


On April 4, 2004 Young is shot by a sniper and paralyzed from the chest down. He is 24 years old.

Below is a follow up post:

Reuben Chip Santos, 1982-200


The Day Dreamer Award

Day Dreamer award

I’ve been nominated by Josh Wrenn for the Day Dreamer Award. The rules for accepting the award are these:

  1. Thank the person who gave you the award.  Thank you, thank you, thank you Josh Wrenn!

  2. Complete the challenge they set you. (see below)

  3. Select a blog or blogs that you want to give the award to. (The amount of blogs you select is unlimited!)  

  4. Tell them about it and set them a challenge. (my challenge is at the end of the post.

    (Please include the rules in your post) Here they are. 🙂

    You can use the image I have used for the award!

    I am nominating four blogs:

    The Little Butch that Could

    Blogging for Therapy

    The Professionally Depressed Professional

    Floyd, Times are Changin’

My Challenge from Josh is to write or create a visual of a time when I had stood up for or defended someone. So OK:

When I was 17 years old I really didn’t know what my sexual preference was. I was sexually attracted to girls but I was also attracted to other guys. So I was confused and closeted. I kept my gay friends and my straight friends separate and did not discuss sexual preference with either of them.

A friend of mine told me that one night he felt suicidal and that he had called the local suicide prevention center. When the counselor found out that he was gay she became hostile, called him a sinner and read the Bible to him.

I considered it an outrage, looked up the Crisis line and saw that it was looking for volunteers.

I volunteered and was scheduled to go through a training in Active Listening.

On the day of our training the group members were asked to introduce themselves and to make a brief statement about why we had joined.

When It was my turn I said, “My name is Bobby and I’m here because a friend of mine who is gay called this crisis line and had the bible read to him. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

Everyone stared at me in silence. I thought I was going to faint from fear. Then suddenly the group broke into applause and my career as a gay liberationist was launched.

My challenge is this: When was the last time you changed your mind about something you believed strongly?

Write or make an image about why you changed your mind.