Don’t You Forget About Me


1alice18We all forget things.

  • We’ve all forgotten where we put our car or house keys.

  • Who hasn’t walked into a room and forgotten why?

  • Been speaking when the word you want goes missing, you know it’s there, you grope around in your mind, finding other words that might work in it’s place, but the word you wanted is gone.

  • I’m forever putting things ‘where I know they’ll be’ then fairies spirit them away, only to be found later in a totally illogical spot. Those fairies.

Forgetting is normal. Our minds are full. Overfull. We’re stressed or tired.

What if it isn’t just that?
1alice8What if forgetting is a symptom?
I made the mistake/best choice to watch Still Alice, based on the stunning novel by Lisa Genova about a 50-year-old Linguistics professor who learns she has early onset Alzheimer’s. I hadn’t been quite prepared for the visceral punch…

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Let’s Build a Real Moral Majority

Blog for Mental Health 2015


This is a reply to a friend with whom I’ve been discussing pedophilia.
My friend wrote:
“Does it matter if pedophiles have the chance to correct what they did? One abuse, two abuses, three abuses?
Does it help if the people that did this sincerely learn it is wrong.
I think rage is felt by all who are abused, not just you.
I think that each person answers questions for themselves.
I don’t think there are right and wrong answers.
I think one seeks closure
I think closure is difficult to find
Victims of pedophiles cannot remain victims”

My reply:

Once you’ve been victimized by a pedophile you will always have been victimized by a pedophile.

Once you’ve been raped you will always once have been raped

I don’t understand the American delusion that the secret to happiness is pretending that we don’t have moments of terrible pain just like every other mammal on the planet.

Members of our species also experience extremes of emotional and existential pain because we have a cerebral cortex that is capable of conceptualizing complex ideas and of forming complex memories.

When our minds turn against us the pain is excruciating.

Victims have one thing in common:  they can’t be un-victimized, and the stigma they face is the greatest breach of faith.

A good example is the holocaust.

Mention it and see how many people make excuses for the Germans of that time.

How many people will ask why the Jews didn’t just leave Germany; or who wonder what the Jews did to “deserve” it.

Many of the Jews in Germany couldn’t believe that their Fatherland would turn against them; and others hoped that their silence would buy exclusion from the open secret of the death camps.

Obviously no group of people deserves to become the target of a Eugenics program.

Just ask the mentally ill of the United States.

We don’t deserve it.

Most of us don’t even realize that the hunger, the deprivation,  and the homelessness is inflicted on us on purpose.

We blame ourselves for the crimes committed against us.

Our version of “blame the victim’ in the U.S. is the barrage of ‘positive thinking’ memes that essentially say the same thing:  If you can’t live the lie that everyone in the U.S. has access to the same abundant resources as the American upper middle class then something must be wrong with you.

Are you poor and in pain? What a looser!

I don’t know how an adult who uses a child as a sex toy can ever compensate that child.

How might he compensate the victim for the lost years of productive life and the lost relationships, and the lost peace of mind, and the loss of whatever that child may have become had the pedophile chosen to keep his filthy needs to himself.

I bet if you polled the nation’s homeless population you would find that large numbers of them were violently and systematically abused as children.

How can the people of the United States ever redeem themselves for choosing to add to their suffering?

I believe that there are right and wrong answers.

They’re not the easy answers most people want to hear.

There is no easy morality either.

You can have the amorality of sexual chastity combined with bible thumping greed or you can be a decent person.

There is a finer morality that has nothing to do with sex or controlling the reproductive organs of women and gays.

This finer morality views all of life as sacred and equally deserving of opportunity.

This finer morality seeks advances in technology to create a healthier and more prosperous world for everyone.

This finer morality views hoarding resources without giving back as a sin.

This finer morality views the right of the born to learn and to thrive as sacred.