Losing time

Losing Time

“DID survivors will feel like they are mostly aware of everything that happens through their day, but their ability to remember what happened yesterday, or even to remember what happened this morning, or an hour ago is extremely limited. This is a different kind of lost time in that the recall is so nonexistent that it becomes the same as lost time since the survivor has next to no idea what happened.”

Discussing Dissociation

I feel as if I’ve lost most of the week. I log into the blog and go to the comments and notice that I’ve begun to switch when I respond. I click the link to see what the comment is about and switch. When
I come back I’m on the next comment.

I didn’t know today was Sunday until 7pm.

“For dissociative trauma survivors, the sliding of time is a normal everyday way of life.  It just is how it is, and time feels very different for DID survivors than it does for other people.  Dissociative survivors may or may not pay attention to the minutes that are gone, or the hours that have slid quietly by.  They are very used to the ebb and flow, and unless there is reason to pay specific attention to the idea of lost time, they may not really be genuinely aware of how much time they lose.”

Discussing Dissociation

For me the sliding of time includes age sliding. I know how old I am but not how old I really am.

I have a very close friend who also has DID. She is one of the few people I know who understand not knowing one’s age.

As we enter the Fall Season my psyche feels stronger and more fragile.

I’m in flux and I wonder what it means.

I’ve begun to wonder if DID is trauma induced Autism.

When I read the blogs of parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders I feel as if they are describing my brain. This weird combination of intelligence and ineptitude, outsized strengths and
super-atrophied social skills.

One of the reasons I wonder if it’s like Autism is that the part of my brain responsible for imagination is as active and as powerful as it was when I was two.

I thought of child like imagination today when I read a comment to me that mentioned “magical thinking’.

DID is magical thinking as autonomic response. Delusions are a kind of magical thinking.

DID starts in early childhood and becomes a kind of fixed delusion, or it did in my case.

I don’t know what the triggers are at this point.

But I know that this kind of flux means that there is something going on with one or more of the alternates.

I just don’t know what it is.
RG 2015

One in Six

One in Six

This comes to me by way of survivor road.

Research has found that 1 in 6 men had sexually abusive experiences before age 18. A
A 2005 study conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, on San Diego Kaiser Permanente HMO members, reported that 16% of males were sexually abused by the age of 18.

Males who have such experiences are less likely to disclose them than are females.

Only 16% of men with documented histories of sexual abuse (by social service agencies, which means it was very serious) considered themselves to have been sexually abused, compared to 64% of women with documented histories in the same study.

Men who have been sexually abused as children are at risk for serious emotional illness.

“Most studies show that the long-term effects of sexual abuse can be quite damaging for both males and females. One large study, conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, found that the sexual abuse of boys was more likely to involve penetration of some kind, which is associated with greater psychological harm.

The harm caused by sexual abuse mostly depends on things not determined by gender, including: the abuser’s identity, the duration of the abuse, whether the child told anyone at the time, and if so, whether the child was believed and helped.

Many boys suffer harm because adults who could believe them and help are reluctant, or refuse, to acknowledge what happened and the harm it caused. This increases the harm, especially the shame felt by boys and men, and leads many to believe they have to “tough it out” on their own. And that, of course, makes it harder to seek needed help in the midst of the abuse, or even years later when help is still needed.” (See How Unwanted or Abusive Sexual Experiences Can Cause Problems and How Being Male Can Make It Hard to Heal.)


1 Way to Help You Meet New Readers: Meet and Greet

Dream Big, Dream Often

imagesWhat day is it??!!  HUMP DAY!!  No, that is completely wrong…it’s Meet and Greet Day!

Ok so here are the rules:

  1. Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
  2. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!  So don’t be selfish, hit the reblog button.
  3. Edit your reblog post and add tags (i.e. reblogging, reblog, meet n greet, link party, etc.), it helps, trust me on this one.
  4. Share this post on social media.  Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new bloggers to follow.  This helps also, trust me.
  5. And if you leave a link and don’t follow me, how about ya show ole Danny some love?

Now that all the rules have been clearly explained get out there and meet n greet your butts…

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