Art by Rob Goldstein

My Personal Rules of Engagement

First posted 11/08/2015

I’ve acquired an odd troll who thinks deleting her personal attacks on me is
a form of censorship.

If you have received an email, (and some people have) that accuses me of censoring my blog, this post clarifies what I expect from the people who want to engage with me.

  • Recognize that each person has gifts & a contribution to make
  • Take responsibility for your actions and mistakes; being ‘only human’ occasionally means saying I’m sorry along with a specific statement about the purpose of your apology.
  • Engage openly and honestly, without ego or blame
  • The first lie we collude with is the lie that we don’t matter. Listen, learn, act, and know that you matter.
  • I don’t expect special treatment based on my illness; but I also don’t expect people to go out of their way to torture me with it. If I think you’re playing mind games with me, you’re gone.
  • I will always call a Pathological Narcissist a Pathological Narcissist. If you don’t like being called by name you have two choices: either stop being a pathological narcissist or stay as far away from me as possible. I suspect that staying as far away from me as possible is easier for most Pathological Narcissists

    If your narcissism can’t bear the thought of being dismissed, then tell yourself you’re leaving voluntarily.

(c) Rob Goldstein 2015 All Rights Reserved
 

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29 thoughts on “My Personal Rules of Engagement

  1. WOW! Everyday new mercies I see from the hand of our Father/Creator. My mercy for today? I found Robert M Goldstein! Amazing! I was diagnosed as a Manic Depressive, Schizophrenic and Bipolar in 1984 I believe. But my problems began in 1962. At that time I refused chemical therapy for depression. 1974 had a total mental breakdown. 1985 a second breakdown. 1995 – 5 Electric Shock treatments that almost destroyed yours truly if it wouldn’t have been for my oldest who fired the Psychiatrist & moved to another institution. From there on my intense chemical therapy went on until 2007 when I dropped unconscious at the point of death. Then, the miracle! Misdiagnosis.I quit 5 renown specialists. Flushed nearly $1000.00 of prescribed dope down the toilet and, my whole world of children & friends declared me INSANE! Hahaha! One year later needed a clean bill of health to leave the country so I paid a visit to my dear doctor. She saw me and exclaimed, MISS THIA! She flipped the pages in my chart and said, “Exactly today last year you were at the emergency at the point of death! Look at you now! do you think I need to take all my patients off medications?”… Want to know the rest? Take your time, visit the blogs of my creation and find out how I am permanently cured…no kidding.
    https://thiasjournal.wordpress.com/2015/11/24/hooray-hooray-decision-time-has-come-thanks-my-father/
    I sense in my heart that this day you have crossed my path for a most definite purpose. I dare not even think as to the nature of such purpose. I look forward to continue following you and see what transpires. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment and for telling your story.

      I’ve also had ECT and I have also been medicated to the point of becoming non-functional.

      In many ways the half-assed treatments were worse than the illness.

      In 2009 I was correctly diagnosed.

      I know the diagnosis is correct because for the first time in my life I can feel myself heal.

      The process is slow and I may die before it is complete, but at least I have some of my mind back…which is better than it’s ever been.

      Thank you again…:)

      RG

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done Robert. You even provide two reasonable options for the individual to save face from their own revelations of ignorance and then demanding their ignorance remain evident for all to see. You show a lot of class in dealing with this issue.

    Like

  3. Your blog is like your internet home, and you are allowed to insist that house rules be followed. I appreciate blogs that do a bit of “censoring”. “The internet can be an ugly place and I see no reason to be an enabler of that ugliness. Keep doing what you’re doing. You have a great blog and an important story to tell.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you and I agree. The blog, the art groups I make on Flickr, any online service that I pay for and that allows me to have server access to create a page is an extension of my home. When I first started using social media I was surprised at the number of people said that they had the ‘right’ to be who they are…” with the implication that I had a duty to let them be who they are on my dime.

      I disagree. I’m glad to see I’m not alone…

      Liked by 2 people

    1. If your life sucks and you don’t have the courage to ask yourself why then the next best thing is to dump all that suckiness on someone who was raised to believe that it’s his job to take it on. Part of undoing the damage from my childhood is setting boundaries. I’m essentially saying don’t mistake me for prey. I know I smell like prey, but I’m not. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve found over the years that the world is full of assholes not cursed with self awareness. Society has become so entitled that nobody thinks its themselves that might be the problem. I just ignore them…or tell ’em to fuck off, depending on the mood I’m in.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LOL…I love your comment.

        It is true that these people are everywhere; I mean, I was born to one.

        In the end they’re boring. Their lives are as empty as their apologies.

        I began to see the patterns of behavior so typical of pathological narcissism.

        I got an email from someone who said: “_______ sent me an email that said that you did XY and Z…she/he said that you are an asshole who uses people.”

        My reply: “If I’m the asshole how come you didn’t get an email like that from me?”

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It’s interesting the lengths that people will go to to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior.

      I suppose it’s just another piece of the human condition but as flaws go this one is glaring on social media.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes it can be glaring. My approach is always, if I make a mistake in not expressing myself correctly i.e., in what I am trying to convey both on paper and verbally. My expression gets misunderstood or misinterpreted. I always apologise. I also never want to express anger either. There is enough of that out there in the world and I certainly do not want to be a contributer to this. There is always another approach. Take care Robert. Milanka

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I always think of my rules for engaging with as as reminders to myself. I don’t think people are capable of perfect behavior or complete control over all of their impulses. Human imperfection is why we invented the apology. It can be hard to contain anger when there are people who are so very good at provoking it…
        hence the reminder of this post. Thank you for reading it and leaving a comment.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You are absolutely right about the invention of the word apology! I totally agree with what you are saying. People like to provoke a reaction. Every action has a reaction…. Have a good weekend Robert.

        Liked by 1 person

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