Dear Bobby,
You want to make it right with your Mother, but she is gone; so you look for her in other people.
You find people who are like her and try to make them love you.
The shadows you describe are a good sign, because it means you can see the replication before it is complete.
Your ability to see that you are in danger means that you are better able to protect yourself.
People yield to each other when they truly accept and love each other.
They yield by mutual consent.
What you are used to is love as warfare and you as hostage.
You look for emotional vampires.
You invite them into your life and they feed on you.
You will always have to guard against your attraction to people who can’t love.
But no one has the right to judge your perception of the difference between right and wrong.
Not taking a stand against people who choose to harm others places us all at risk.
You are no better than anyone else is and no one else is better than you are.
Your awareness of the divine defines you; you see that life is magic.
Your innate awareness of this fills you with the love you struggle to express.
This spirit of love makes you hateful to the soulless.
But it’s not just you Bobby.
You survived a Mother who in her twisted love for you, wanted you dead.
You will have to remember the selfish ignorance that raped your body, it is horrifying, but we must do it.
With all of our problems and pain, we are lucky because you are our soul
and you are intact.
Adults bring the fruit of wisdom into the world.
That is our job and why we must get well.
Know that I love you and that I am here to protect you until you can protect yourself,
Sara
A Letter from Home: When My Alternates Talk to Each Other
(c) Rob Goldstein 2014-2017 All Rights Reserved
Revised 2018
Love the words, ‘People yield to each other when they truly accept and love each other. Profound and beautiful! It is also nice to know that you have a caring and helpful soul like Sara as one of your personas.
You have travelled far in all your journeys and I hope you know that you have gained enormous strength and wisdom along the way. Kudos to you Rob.
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Thank you!
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Such a compassionate letter to Bobby xxx
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He needs it. He feels lost much of the time…
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Reblogged this on Br Andrew's Muses and commented:
I think you are beautiful Sara, you are part of a wonderful soul
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🙂 Thank you.
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Thank you Robert for the letter from Sara, and I don’t think I can add anything to the thoughtful things said above. 🙂
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Sara is a good protector. Thanks for the comment…:)
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There’s so much here Robert
That I can identify with
Very powerful
Great post
Excellent work
I’m glad I stopped by to say hello
As always Sheldon
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Thank you, Sheldon!
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This was beautifully written, Robert. 🙂
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Thanks…:)
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Robert, that was very moving. Such a poignant letter!
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The corner of my mind named Sara has a great deal of compassion…she’s also a bit of a warrior.
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Yes, I remember you writing about her earlier. She is very protective and it touched me a lot reading this letter.
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You have masses of insight and understanding which can only be a good thing for your prospects of healing from such awful experiences. I myself have a history of severe abuse/trauma and have BPD and dissociative identity disorder. I very much understand where you’re coming from. I’m a new follower so will have to get up to speed with some of your previous posts when I have time so I can get a fuller picture of what happened to you. I wish you all the best X
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Thank you for your comment and for the follow. I just checked out your site and look forward to getting to know you. Healing does happen. I still have work to do on problems with acceptance and shame. I’ve found that it helps to use these terrible experiences to help other people who had them too. Thank you…:)
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Definitely…I am on a mission to exploit the goodness out of what I’ve been through to illuminate the healing path for others, but I have tonnes of personal healing to do first-we’re in this together. I’m early on in discovering my dissociative side and new alters are revealing themselves which is pretty scary, but I am amazed at how clever my brain was, to have dealt with my trauma. I will look forward to reading more of your blog 🙂
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Thank you for the follow up. I don’t know if it’s my connection or the way your blog is setup but I can’t find a comments section…or a ‘like’ option. I just want you to know that I have been reading it and like what I see. It’s good to meet you and it’s always good to have someone else out there fighting the good fight…:)
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Aww that’s lovely THANKS so much 😊 If you click on the title of an individual blog post, it should enable you to comment or like, but if you just scroll through it doesn’t-bit frustrating! Sorry about that. Thanks so much for your support, it’s gratefully accepted and I hope we can chat more as time goes on. Warmest wishes x
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Ok…I got confused…happens quite a bit…LOL
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Rob, when I first heard of data that suggested abused children seek partners as adults where abuse occurs amazed me. Abused girls may marry men who will control and abuse them. Boys, even when abused, may emulate an abuser as an adult as they see that as their norm.
Your words and art mean much to many. Keep sharing your stories. Keith
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Thank you for this comment Keith. It touches on the ‘nurture’ aspect of certain kinds of serious mental illnesses.
The tendency to have friends and spouses who are like the abusive parent is called the ‘cycle of repetition or re-enactment‘ and it represents an attempt to master the abuse. Children always believe that bad things happen to them because they are bad. They are desperate to earn the approval and love of the abusive parent and as adults they will keep trying to get this love from other abusers who are like their abusive parent.
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survivors help others to survive! Emotional and guiding!
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Bobby and Sara interact with each other that way. When I found these letters I understand better how it was that I physically and intellectually survived the abuse of my childhood.
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That is inspiring Robert! I really have nice feelings to have you in my Network!
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Thank you for your comment…you just made my day!
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You are always most Welcome Robert!
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That is beautifully written. I will pass this on to the man in the video. He called me late this evening. He sounded so small.”I just wanted to hear your voice”, he said. I know all I can do is encourage him. He has to want to do the work – desire to change things. But still it tugs on my heart strings – and the part of me I call my “fix it” nature. I recorded a new piece of music today for my latest post.
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I’ll have a listen…I feel a switch happening…I think I’m going to be making pictures soon…
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To know it is happening, that must seem strange. But do you know to whom?
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The wonderful world of psychotherapy. I can sometimes tell now…and yes, this time I knew who was coming out. One of the goals of my therapy is for us to negotiate time. We’re still not that good at it…but we are getting better.
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Getting to know you is full of surprises. I have learned so many new things – concepts from you I knew nothing about. Thank you.
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Wow Robert…poignant. Powerful.
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Thank you for your comment. I was surprised when I first discovered that some of my alternates are “friends”–
The female is a protector. I’ve written about this if you want more information:
https://robertmgoldstein.com/2014/10/31/a-letter-from-home-dear-sara/
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Thank you for this link. It was helpful because though I read the Dear Sara letter, I didn’t understand the term alternate. I learned something new Robert. Thank you.
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Thank you for reading and learning a little about the DID. The more people know and understand the better life will be for those of us who live with it. Much appreciated.
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So glad to know you. So glad you’re here. Honored. You’re very kind. Blessings… e
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Thank you. So are you…
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Thank you😌😌😌
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When you overcome something that was hurting you and your soul deeply…you learn a new way to express life in another dimension and you have a choice…you can turn something that was bad into something good. Open your wings to other be free and let your heart fly without fears…you could be an angel to someone else.
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There are many people who suffer these things in silence; and there is tremendous social pressure to remain that way. We live in a paradox in which we are surrounded by the victims that we refuse to acknowledge. I don’t know if it is fear, selfishness, greed, ignorance or a combination of all of these. All I know is that the statement, “I am not a victim” only applies to those people who have the resources they need to help themselves. To that extent, I am not a victim, but only as long as I use what I know to help other people and to give expression to my version of life on Planet Earth.
Thank you for reading the post and leaving a comment.
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Reblogged this on CELONA'S BLOG and commented:
“But no one has the right to judge your perception of the difference between right and wrong.
It is true that we must not judge people harshly for being who they are but there are right and
wrong actions and not judging people who choose to harm other people places all of us at risk.”
Check out what’s happening on this blog..
A matured mind with serious precision.
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Thank you for the reblog. I found this last night in my spam box–Now I check it regularly.
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Why do they keep going to spam??
It’s annoying 😦
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I think the software has “learned” that your comments are not spam…As you can imagine, there are a lot of wingnuts who experience me as similar to the sound of nails on a chalkboard, so I had the filter set too high…
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Would just hope my comments stop going into spam.
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It has..:)
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Thanks..
Reported the issue to akismet, I just hope they fixed it permanently 😉
Thanks for the support buddy
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Your thoughts are powerful matured Sire..
I loved this!! This went straight to the heart..
It’s being wonderful being close to you and your blog.. 🙂
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Thank you…you’ve been doing some powerful things on your blog…I found four new sites from you blog today…
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I can say the same about you brother..
You do a great job with your blog as well 😉
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Thank you…from what I’ve read of your blog, I know you mean that..:)
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😉
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Thank you Susy…
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Our angels bound to us protect us always. They also in their protection teach us. They are with us always and as they protect we also protect. You, Rob are a protector and your thoughts carry forth and touch the souls of others and connect with them and bring people strength. Perhaps you are drawn to what was set inside you deeply and lean into it and then face the scars of other times. You have been given love and the “wings of the morning” will always be at your side. They may rest upon the treetops and look down or be at flight in the distance, but when needed they will lift you and hold you close and bring you journeys of love and peace.
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it is true, we who have had trauma, are likely to find it again, because that is what we were taught to think love is. even tho now we know better, we still tend toward that.
but you are a survivor, you can see when it is an abusive relationship starting, and you have saved from the fire your caring, kindness, compassion and true ability to love.
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What a wonderful, generous comment. Thank you so much for reading my post
and thus introducing me to your blog…:)
Rob Goldstein
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