When I Get Out Of Prison

Dear mom

My Name is Jamie. My Life in Prison

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Dear mom,

How are you?  Fine, I hope and getting some rest. However, knowing you, you are work work working on everything. Do me a favor and take a break okay? Enjoy what time you have to yourself. Sit outside and enjoy the little things, like the flowers, the sky’s view, the air and everything in view.

(Sonni’s note: Jamie is thinking of me being able to enjoy all the things he is unable to see. He doesn’t even have a window in his cell or AC in this hot Tx summer, yet he worries about  me.)

I have been sitting here thinking hard about the questions you asked in your last letter but I have yet to come up with anything. You asked me what I thought I’d like to do when I get out prison. I have yet to come up with anything because I don’t know what…

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The Double Bind on the ACoN Soul

I love this post: “Have you felt the pull to gossip or triangulate with others so you can be part of the inner crowd and keep the narcissist from talking about you?”

Could my husband really be an abuser? Types of domestic abuse–part 3

Could my husband really be an abuser?

Tamar Weeps: Abuse and the Christian woman

A continuing look at different types of domestic abuse.

If your husband is an abuser, he might use your children as leverage against you:

Your abuser might seek to hurt you by hurting your children. He might yell at them, hit them, make fun of them, or in some other way abuse them.

He might seek to make you appear small to them by making fun of you in front of them, running you down to them, starting an argument in front of them, or by making them say things to you that are hurtful.

Your abuser might use your children to relay messages to you that are pointed or painful; by doing so, he puts them in the difficult position of being put in the middle or being forced to take sides.

He might seek to undermine your relationship with your children by telling you lies about them or them lies about you. He might lie to…

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Sometimes I Still Get Pissed

Such a powerful and honest post about the aftermath of childhood sexual abuse.

Remembering My Divinity

Sometimes, I think back to when I was being molested and how things were handled when it all came out, and I get pissed. Really pissed off.

One of the things about growing up in a dysfunctional home is that when you’re in it, you don’t realized it’s dysfunctional. You might notice things that don’t seem right or ok, but when you are little and dependent on others for survival, whatever the fuck is going on is your “normal.” It wasn’t until I was in my late 30’s and seeing a therapist that I understood this.

I didn’t realize how absolutely fucked up my home was when I was growing up, until I was almost 40 years old!!

First of all, I now know that my mother was never really “right,” but I finally noticed her starting to really spin out about the time I was in junior high school…

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