Watch Out for Snakes

Art by Rob Goldstein
Watch Out For Snakes

 

Art by Rob Goldstein
Comment 12-21-2015

From July to December of last year a narcissist was comment bombing me.

That was when I completed the abstract, Watch Out For Snakes.

I got as many as twelve long diatribes a week and made
screenshots before deleting them unread.

I went through my screenshots tonight and re-read that comment.

It’s pure word salad.

When I first met the narcissist I was drawn to what I wanted to
think was a child like imagination.

On some level I must have known that what I’d met was another
self-centered two-year old that as an adult turns vicious.

I laugh as I read the comment now and yet I have mixed feelings.

The primary symptom of narcissism is the delusional idea that
everyone else must agree that he is obviously superior.

Eventually everyone finds something about the narcissist
to question.

It’s when you question the narcissist that they turn on you.

Add lack of empathy and what you get is an entitled sociopath.

The narcissist thinks he can beat everyone into submission and
he tries until everyone who might love his sorry ass goes away.

The narcissist never knows the cleansing that comes from giving a
heartfelt apology or the grace of being forgiven.

I suppose I can thank God that all I’ve got to deal with is DID.

You can treat DID.

I don’t know how you can treat someone who doesn’t know that
the brilliant comment he’s just posted is utter nonsense.

If you have any ideas on how we can heal the narcissist please leave them.

Disclaimer: the screenshot in this post is of a public comment. This was not a private email.

Words and image by Rob Goldstein (c) 2016
Text on the screenshot by The Narcisist

41 thoughts on “Watch Out for Snakes

  1. That woman who wrote you all those comments sounds batshit crazy. It’s sad she can’t recognize how insane she sounds. And always repeating the same thing, over and over and over and over like a broken record. And scolding and chiding you like she thinks she’s your mother? I’ve noticed the word salad a lot of narcissists use and they think it’s brilliant. It might SOUND profound if you’re not really paying much attention, but you start reading the words and trying to decipher what they actually mean, and you’re all like, what the fck did i just read?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I owe this narc a debt of gratitude because she forced me to deal with the fact that I was the reason she was in my life.

      She was part of a pattern that I had to learn how to break.

      It’s so much easier to remove an online Narc then the ones in your every day life.

      The narcissist in my real life sent me a text with the kind of backhanded insults narcs throw.

      This one implied that she was going to give me a check for some money she owed me when she suddenly remembered she had already written it. “Sorry” she wrote.

      I realized what it she was implying so I wrote: “Why would you think I’d spend a check I knew you’d written by mistake?”

      Narcissist: “I was only joking. You have no sense of humor.”

      Me: “No.I have an excellent sense of humor. You’re letting your narcissism intrude on me by playing a sick little game called gas-lighting. Please learn about the symptoms of your illness so you can manage them.”

      Silence.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah, the “you have no sense of humor” card, kissing cousin to the “you’re too sensitive” card. My mother loved to use these on me when I failed to laugh at her cruel jokes at my expense, usually in front of others to cause me to feel shame & embarrassment. My ex did the same shit. Only with him it was my “craziness.” My ex an my MN used to get this evil little gleam in their beady eyes whenever they knew they’d “got” me.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve told her to study Donald Trump because it’s a great way for narcs to see their symptoms in action.

        What the narc in my life shares in common with him is that she thinks it’s her right to impose her lies on me and everyone else around her. She simply expects us to agree with shit we know isn’t true.

        It’s strange to see Trump’s enablers spreading his distorted and self serving versions of reality in the media.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Mental health experts have actually pointed to him as a poster boy for NPD. They say he fits every single one of the criteria. We are all being gaslighted and flying monkeys abound. Scary shit.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yeh…What I find disgusting are all of the predators who rush to his defense in our media. His enablers are more revolting than he is. Paul Ryan and Ted Cruz already had little to recommend them as people, let alone as men. But they are revealed as disgusting political opportunists who don’t deserve to call themselves human.

        Like

      5. One more thing about the word salad I bet you’ve noticed too. Ever notice how Trump makes no sense when he speaks? He sounds crazy. No presidential candidate in living memory spoke that way, no matter how stupid or ignorant. America has really jumped the shark when a man who strings words together like a crazy quilt and leaves you scratching your head and going, “Huh?” has a good chance of becoming the next president. I don’t think he’ll actually win it, but if he does, God help us all. They won’t have to worry about closing the borders to keep people out but to keep people in instead, because everyone with half a brain will be running out of here like bats out of hell. Sorry for going slightly off topic, but I know this has been a concern of yours, and mine too. Donald Trump has no business heading a nation even the size of my backyard. He needs to go take his ugly orange ass and be the star of a new reality TV show where he gropes Eastern European women and whines about how nobody understands him. Damn right, we don’t, you word salad spewing bad toupee wearing fake tanned racist idiot.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Trevor Noah has stepped up to the plate. He, John Oliver, Seth Myers and Samantha Bee have taken on the role of reporting fact based news in context, and giving us civics lessons while making us laugh. They also may be responsible for the uptick of millennials who are voting for Hillary.

        Trevor Noah also does a great take down of fake news in this episode.

        It’s more difficult to propagandize a segment of the population when it’s willing to listen to facts.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. I meant to add this to my last reply, but there was no option to edit my comment so I have to put it here. Re the GOP adopting gaslighting as a political strategy? They certainly have, but think of this: narcissists eventually implode, and that’s what’s happening to the GOP. They get so puffed up with their own delusions they REALLY start to sound so insane no one believes them anymore and I see that starting to happen. Most people know Trump is full of shit, and more people are turning on the GOP now too as America becomes ever more reminiscent of a fascist third world country.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes and no. This woman is a replication of my relationship with my Mother.

      The irrational word hash reeking with innuendo and veiled threats was how my Mother controlled me. It works well for a child and to an extent it will work for an adult who as a child was very abused. My therapist and I used my relationship with this woman to help me to understand how my Mother worked to sabotage my sense of accomplishment and my sense of reality. Consider what a narcissist is like as a Mother; a Mother so devoid of empathy that her child is nothing more than a reflection of her grandiose belief that she is the beginning and the end of the world. Had I not been in therapy this would have been a waste of time.

      But because I am in therapy this narcissist helped me to free myself from people like her.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And I know that if she read this she would think I wrote it for that purpose– but it’s not. I’ve repeated the cycle many times. She just happens to be the narc I used as a learning experience.

        I think that this is the crucial thing for adult survivors. The only way to free ourselves from being victims is to ask ourselves why we invite predators into our lives.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks Linda. I think that there are people who see compassion as a weakness in a man. I know I’m not weak but I have made the mistake of being too trusting. Thanks for the comment. Is it as hot in the South East as it is in California?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. No one ever wins with a narcissist – the only thing you can do is walk away. They are totally unaware of what they are doing – only that they must be admired and they must get their own way at any cost.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Do I have any idea how to heal a narcissist? Ummmm….that’s like saying “do you have any idea how to raise the dead?” You cannot heal evil. You cannot heal entitlement. You cannot heal cowardice. They are a breed apart. If they could be healed, there wouldn’t be the growing infestation of narcissistic sociopaths that seem to invade so many lives.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You heard the subtext in that word salad too? You have good ears. I will say this: I learned alot from the person who wrote that word salad. I was forced to come to terms with the part I played in letting her into my life and actually came out better for having to deal with her craziness.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. No…it isn’t. I know that it looks like computer generated word hash but it’s not. It’s a word salad and it’s a recognized and much discussed feature of the narcissist. The reason writing so convoluted is that she can’t say what she really means so she has to dance around the core of her message. What she means is this: I am smearing you behind your back and you are not supposed to know abut it. Somehow you’ve found out and you are discussing it in the open. I want you to stop because the truth of what I am mortifies me, but not to the degree that I will ever take responsibility. So if you will stop discussing this openly I will try my best to stop smearing you.

      Please not that what she wants is the freedom to do what she does covertly. She has no intention of ever offering a genuine apology, returning my property or of ending the smear campaign which continues to this day.

      Like

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