Psychological Abuse online is real and Not as Easy to Solve as Pressing the “off” Button

Bully Free Zone

 

People with trauma related mental health problems bring certain vulnerabilities to their
online interactions.

The same trigger responses that affect our online relationships just as they affect our
relationships in life.

My greatest vulnerability is a childlike faith in the goodness of other people.

It’s a symptom of my DID.

It invites people to try to take advantage of me.

I am also vulnerable to letting narcissistic bullies into my life.

Online abuse often takes the form of communications that are insulting,
threatening, devaluing, and mocking.
When the abuse happens online, the abuser is a cyber-bully.
Cyber-bullies target online activities, communications, and friends.
They will repeatedly send you unwanted messages or other kinds of communication.
They will try to intrude in your online activities and will actively defame you on
social networking sites.
They will gather information from your friends and encourage others to harass you, claiming to be harassed by you.
They will also approach your friends to get information about you or to create conflict in your relationships with others.
Abuse is always about control.
Abusers want to control the lives and actions of the people they target.
Abusers will also use alternate accounts on social networks to stalk and harass you.
From a “Healthy Place”
How to tell when you are dealing with online abuse:
Abusers will engage in:
  • Name calling or insults; mocking
  • Threats and intimidation
  • Ignoring or excluding
  • Isolating
  • Humiliating
  • Denial of the abuse and blaming of the victim
     From Wikipedia
Male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse show high rates of personality disorders, particularly borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder
What can you do to protect yourself?
From ABC News:
1. DO NOT respond to this person. Engaging with the bully often only makes matters worse. They feed off their victim’s misery and pain.
2. Make a copy of the message, photo, or video. The best way to do this is to copy the URL of the specific webpage where it’s happening.
3. Contact the website operators by phone, email and any contact submission forms that they have available on their site.
4. File a report with your local police department.
If necessary, file a complaint with the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). The IC3 is a partnership between the FBI, the National White Collar Crime Center, and the Bureau.
My personal suggestion is that you let your friends and contacts know what it happening and that you limit your online communication to people who are fully aware of the seriousness of cyber bullies and who will work with you to promote safety.

I also recommend that you keep screen-shots of all abuse email and texts.

In many ways I’m grateful to the bullies I’ve met over the past five years.

They have taught me that I am strong, and that I simply continue to be myself most
people will figure out the con.

Social media is a real asset for those of us who want to find ways to live past
the pain.

A bully’s pleasure is your silence.

Don’t give it to him.

RG 2014

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51 thoughts on “Psychological Abuse online is real and Not as Easy to Solve as Pressing the “off” Button

    1. I think it’s the illusion of anonymity and also more opportunities for people to feel envy. I think most abusive people feel terrible about themselves and don’t have the intellectual skill it takes to use insight.
      Thank you for leaving a comment!

      Like

  1. This is what happened to me! I just wrote a poem this morning on my blog, called: Paperdoll Man, Narcissist. Yes, it’s VERY real.
    Tamara

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It took me awhile to figure out that I was the reason there were so many narcissists in my life. Now that I have a better understanding of it, that it’s essentially part of the damage that I’m repairing. It’s easier to ignore them. If you want a narc to vanish, forget that they exist. It’s like death to them. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, this is the best advice. No contact with the Narc, but also no contact with their friends either, even if they contact me. I do write in my blog about Narcissists, but I mention no names at all. I write about it because it’s a release and very healing for me, plus I want to help others so they know they are not alone. Thank you.
        Tamara

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, and for this reason, I have considered not ever blogging about Narcissists, anymore. But, it’s such a release for me to do so, and a hope that it might help others to not feel so alone in what they might be going through. But, I will never name any names as I do not wish to give them any supply in which they each would inevitably climax to. (Excuse me for my seemingly dramatic words, but I have seen their great ecstasy over any supply they might rein into their trophy-sack).
        Thank you so much!
        Tamara

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I say the more people know the better armed we are. Consider that the most pathological narcissist I’ve ever seen has an army of flying monkey working to smear his way into the White House.

        Those of us who’ve dealt with these people need to share what we know.

        Because no one is ever prepared to understand the utter dearth of human emotion that drives the pathological narcissist. It takes time for people to let themselves see it.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. This comment of yours speaks the purpose why I desire to keep my blog running. I wish to share these experiences with people, through Poetry, Rhymes, Personal Experience, and in any form in which I hope to capture people’s attention. I have been working on re-tagging and fine tuning my blogs to get a wider range of viewers so as to help educate people who know very little, to nothing, of this confusing subject-matter. If you have any pointers on how I can better publicize my blog, please let me know, as I am still very much an amateur in the world of Blogging. But, I have much experience with Covert Abuse in which to share and help benefit others. Also, if there is anyway you could post this very same comment on my WordPress Blog, somewhere, I would be deeply grateful as it explains a good portion for my purpose of blogging. I thank you so very much.
        Tamara
        Yancoskytamara@yahoo.com
        http://www.miracayblog.wordpress.com

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I wanted to clarify that I would be grateful for you to post your very last comment to me, in particular, somewhere on my blog site. I re-read my own comment, and it sounded as if I wished for you to repost my own comment, but I did mean for it to say, your comment 🙂 Thank you, and I am sorry for the confusion I might have caused.
        Tamara 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. if people are just objects to you and you really can’t feel anything than bullying people allows you to experience their intense reactions. And because the narcissist needs to believe that she is the center of all things, it gives them a sense of control and power.

      Like

      1. Yes, well said. It is as if we are their play-toys. Without their play-toys to ‘bat around’ with their claws, they might become bored and depressed.
        Tamara

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve learned two things. Keep screen shots and use them, especially if the narc decides to embark on a smear campaign. Nothing spoils their fun more completely than evidence of their abusive tirades and word salads. Then after that I ignore them. When someone shows you who they are believe them. I have no time
        for adults with the emotional world view of spoiled children.

        Like

  2. Thank you for this. As you know, I’m dealing with a group of cyberbullies right now, who are projecting their own abusive behaviors onto me. Too bad this group claims to be against the very thing they hate so much. They are misleading people and are very dangerous for any abuse survivor to deal with. if I didn’t fear further retribution, I would name them here so others can avoid them. Good post!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I didn’t know that you are being hassled. If you know who these folks are I strongly suggest that you report it as a crime; if you have an IP address you can complain to their ISP. If they’ve sent you verbally abusive email and comments make screenshots and save everything. I don’t name my stalker because any attention is OK with her. In that regard all narcissists are whores. Below are some links.

      https://www.ncjrs.gov/internetsafety/cyber.html

      If you are disabled and open about it you may be able to sue for damages because the internet is a public space and if you are being attacked because you are writing about
      a condition that is the result of surviving the abuse of a narcissist then their actions may constitute a hate crime.

      Here are the statues by state: http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/cyberbullying-statutes-state-by-state

      Liked by 2 people

      1. No, I won’t report it. I haven’t been stalked (their comments are limited to their own blogs-it was my choice to read them) and I haven’t been named or linked to. At the moment there have not been any more problems. But I do appreciate the advice and will use it if it comes to that.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. I did some further checking and alot depends on the state. In some states cyber-stalking is treated as seriously as physical stalking. Also, if you can verify a smear campaign that’s more ammo for you. Save screen shots of what they say on other sites or to other people. Some Narcs stupidly assume that heir targets have no friends–if none of what they write is true then it is slander and defamation of character.

        The laws are slowly changing and I’m sure that in a few years these cyber-Narcs will find themselves turning their money over to their victims.

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Luckyotter, I just read your comment. I am afraid the Narcissist is going to kill me because of my Blog. But, I write to heal, and writing is my passion. Or, I’m also afraid he might get his friends to kill me and/or my two young adult sons. I have not mentioned any names in my blogs, but if any of them read my blog, they might suspect…because they know what they’ve done to me. (The Narcissist has many “friends” who hate me).

      Anyway, I hope you get this comment, so that neither of us is alone. My email address is:

      Yancoskytamara@yahoo.com My Blog is: http://www.miracayblog.wordpress.com

      Tamara Yancosky Moore

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for letting me know. I was worried about you. Call the police if anything does happen. Are there any emergency shelters where you live? You could ask the police about that if necessary–they usually have that kind of information.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I hope I’m commenting in the right place; the narcissist lives far away, but he has friends in all different states, and lots of resources. His enabler once told me that this man (the Narc) knows all about explosives. So, I just want to be safe, but most of all, I want my two young-adult sons to not be targeted by any of the Narc’s “resources” or “friends” who might be possibly Narcs, too, or at least enablers. They are very tricky and deceiving. I have emails of things he has said to me during Devaluation and Discard, and also videos of him Gaslighting me, badly…and also some of the emails where he had talked of suicide. I think his friends are as dangerous as he is, in actuality. Thank you so much for being there.
        Tamara

        Liked by 1 person

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