Dissociative alternates have lives of their own.
Alternates can be babies, children, teens, male, female or objects.
Very young alternates may have the limited verbal skills of a toddler.
Some people with DID have alternates that speak different languages, have different talents and different physical abilities and handicaps.
One of my alternates is old.
He has always been old.
When he is out my joints hurt, my body is stiff and it is painful for me to walk..
The teen alternate is 16.
When he is out the body has the flexibility and vigor of a 16-year-old.
When psychotherapy is successful the alternates become more aware of each other and learn to collaborate.
Even so, the alternates come out spontaneously.
I have at six alternates that use Second Life for recreation.
They have no interest in the other members, in part because my alternates are not role plays in a computer game.
Second Life became an extension of our inner world.
Sara is the oldest alternate and is the protector.
She is very protective of the younger alternates and of children in general.
She use virtual reality to play dress up which is exactly what she did when the body was a child.
Sara is a huge fan of Julie London and Morgana King.
Felicity uses Sara’s account.
She enjoys using erotic animations and elaborate costumes. She also writes poetry and erotic short stories.
She likes house music, Grace Jones, Madonna and Britney Spears.
Bobby is a teen.
He age slides from 14 to 20.
Bobby listens to deadmau5, Blackalicious and Dj Shadow
Bob is an older version of Bobby.
He rarely uses Virtual Reality but when he does it’s for horseback riding.
Bob listens to Bluegrass and Classic Rock
Rob is the writer and editor.
He is obsessed with poetry and art will remove anyone who gets that gets in the way of his work.
Rob listens to folk music and 60’s pop.
The Narrator is responsible for co-coordinating the different stories
and making sense of them.
He uses Virtual Reality to make illustrations for our writings.
The Narrator listens to 90’s rock.
Mateo is the only heterosexual male.
He is also strongly identified with the Black and Latino communities,
probably as a result of witnessing the violent racism of our childhood.
Mateo likes Jazz, Motown and soul–he also likes to use Virtual Reality
to dance at nigh clubs. Mateo decided in 2009 to take over the body and
live in VR.
He wanted his own life, hooked up with a woman and started a Jazz Club.
The result was a decompensation that resulted in complete disability.
Loleeta is a male who refers to himself in his writing as female.
Loleeta is depressed, anxious, angry and suicidal. Of all of my alternates he is the one I fear the most because he is the most self-destructive and self loathing. He likes Metal and Goth.
Matthew is the most recent alternate. He was born in 1992.
Matthew is a devout Catholic and was accepted to the Franciscans in 1993.
He did not become a Franciscan.
He met a partner and has been in that relationship for over 20 years. He is the one who sought therapy — He rarely uses Virtual Reality.
He likes songs about Faith.
Robby and Peter are my child alters.
Robby is four and Peter age slides between six and sixteen.
Peter only listens to Classical music.
The difference between an “inner kid” and a DID kid is that DID kids are like real kids; they are autonomous and their behavior is not mediated by the adult selves.
Peter knows the body is an adult.
Robby doesn’t know this.
Much of what I know about my alternates I’ve learned from reading chat logs and looking at the pictures they make of themselves.
I do know that they have conflicting memories of the same event.
This page is designed as a reference point; a place to gather the fragments of my life and so that I and the reader can get a sense of the whole person.
Rob Goldstein 2016-2019