A digital painitng of a Franciscan Monk

Brother Matthew’s Bible Story Mashups: The Story of Lot and Carlotta

There lived in the ancient City of Felare an old couple
named Lot and Carlotta.

Carlotta’s sincerest desire was a child but she was
past the age of childbearing.

One day, a group of maniacal tourists flew into town.

The men tore into Lot’s tent and demanded to
knowCarlotta.

What could Lot do?

For it is written: women are property and the
old ones ain’t worth squat.

The tourists ‘knew’ Carlotta for three days and two nights.

Eight months later Carlotta was miraculously heavy with
child.

“Lord!” Lot exclaimed, “I have sired a Son.

“Praise God” mumbled Carlotta.

Soon it was time for the census.

“We must make haste from Felare and travel to Bethlehem!” said Lot.

But lo! A star rose in the West, which did confuse Lot who went
north to Landica; avoiding a possible brush with fame.

Rights Metropolitan Museum of Art Terms and Conditions
The Adoration of the Shepherds with Saint Catherine of Alexandria

The Adoration of the Shepherds with Saint Catherine of Alexandria
Rights Metropolitan Museum of Art Terms and Conditions

Portrait of Brother Matthew (c) Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved
The Story of Lot and Carlotta, (c) Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved

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