Set these 7 limits with a narc before you go no contact, but only if you
feel confident and want to leave room to salvage the relationship.
1. I will no longer tolerate of your lies.
2. I will never pretend that you don’t lie to me.
3. I will never pretend that it’s acceptable for you
to treat me as if I’m blind and stupid.
4. I will never pretend that playing gaslight is not the
behavior of a psychologically abusive perp.
5. Your pathology is damaging to my health and I expect
you to learn to manage it.
6. If you want friendship with me behave the way a friend
behaves when caught in a lie: apologize.
7. You can make this right by writing an apology with a
promise that you will stop lying to me and about me.
Don’t expect the narc to be nice about this.
Narcs react to limit setting as if they’ve been shot.
That’s it.
Then go no contact until you get the written apology as requested.
One last thing: don’t expect an apology.
I wonder if it’s ever worth trying to salvage a relationship with someone who’s truly narcissistic? I know that might sound harsh, but it seems like trying to do so would just expose oneself to further abuse.
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I should clarify that trying to salvage the relationship is optional. And asking a toxic narcissist for an apology is the same as saying good-bye.
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I think those last things also apply to the narcissist man.
Today would have been our 42nd anniversary. Praise the Lord and pass the biscuits! I got rid of that maggot…although I did have to spend time with him yesterday.
I had to laugh when he said “I don’t trust you”…because I finally stood up and roared. Interesting comment coming from one of the most prolific liars who has ever taken up space. LOL
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The primary difference between the male and the female narcissist is the way men and women as socialized. From personal experience, the female is expert at making the male look like the perp.
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“Don’t expect the apology” is right. But don’t expect to get the truth even if you do get the apology… I’m too jaded, Rob. I’ll shut up now. 😀 Hugs.
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I know what you mean. It’s very difficult to have someone who is talented and witty and morally corrupt in your life.
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