One of the more interesting characters to emerge in 2017 is Republican Jesus.
Here are a few of my favorite verses from the fake bible of America’s fake Christians. I found these on Twitter and Google search.
I do not own them.
You were a stranger so I vilified you.
Love Thy Neighbor as long as he’s the same race and religion and not a homo.
Crush your enemies, see them driven out before you, hear the lamentation’s of their women.
Only feed the ones who pass the drug test
Before I heal you I need proof of insurance.
and Christian’s will ignore the sick and poor and build bigger churches to prove their Christianity.
And Jesus said to the Leper, “I’m sorry, you have a preexisting condition.”
Republican Jesus suffers the little children to come unto him that he may teach them the proper way to hold a gun.
I know he raped you, Sally, but what’s really important is the senate seat.
Why should I heal the sick?
Of course I love you but I need to see your documents, except for the little blond one.
Republican Jesus demands the stoning of Magdalene.
Updated February 15, 2018
This was spot on and hilarious at the same time. I read it twice and will probably read it for the third time by the end of this day. Lol!
I love those. I’ve collected a few more that I will add to the post at some point. Thank you for the comment.
You know that I had to Tweet this! Had to!
Thanks for tweeting it out! Here’s another one:
And there was I thinking trump was the new Messiah!
Oh Lordy! LOL!
Dear Rob,
Thank you for this blog. These so called Christians are using wedge issues as a weapon like being pro-life when they are really pro-birth only and they don’t even do this well. The USA has been #1 in infant mortality rates for decades out of all the developed countries.
They give the name of Christianity a bad name.
Hugs, Gronda
I’m so sick of the lie of pro-life movement. It is possible to believe that abortion should be an option of last resort without participating in a movement that is nothing more than a cynical strategy for taking control of women’s bodies.
Reblogged this on Dreamer9177's Blog.
Thanks for the reblog of this!
My Friend, You made my day! I laughed all the way through these. I guess I have been missing Republican Jesus? I will have to search him out. Don’t want to sneak up on him though since he is packing! LOL!
Chuck
It’s absurd to call yourself a pro life Christian when you vote to use resource deprivation to execute those you deem unworthy of life.
Thank you for leaving a comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
I loooooove these! I always love stuff like this. People need Jesus. I’m not a Christian, but I know when some people need them some Jesus. LOL Great post, Robert!
There is a Jesus, and I can see him making memes like these in Heaven and posting them twitter while chuckling at how cleverly they affirm his message.
Hahahahaha! I’m pretty sure the entire “Evangenital Christian” Movement is a get into heaven free scam. I did some Consulting for our local right-wing Church on behalf of our City council’s commission for the disabled. The church in question is also charismatic and performs Faith healings and they wanted to know how they could provide compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act when they don’t actually believe people can have disabilities… I was told that this was just one of the many many reasons why they don’t like government. The pastor was extremely rude and patronizing because I couldn’t accept that my blindness was due to a “moral failing on my part and an inability to accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior…”
Of course they believe that. You can’t be a white supremacists if your grandiose entitlement isn’t inspired by a sense of divine right.
This is so spot on, the radical Christian Conservative is a cruel hypocrite bordering on on the insane. Look at Moore, he’s a perfect example.
Lol…
😊😊😊
When you can actually feel the balance
That’s all that’s really necessary
Perfect!
Good satire cuts to the bone. 🙂
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