Portrait of a Manequin in Red

The Problem with Pictures

I have a problem with pictures.

We don’t recognize the guy in the picture.

He’s not Rob Goldstein or Mateo

or Bobby.

or Sara

or Felicity

or Peter

or Bob.

He might be Matthew.

When I’m asked for a picture of myself all of my alternate neuro-networks light up in confusion.

Whose picture?

Collage Portrait in torn paper

“ You peer into the mirror and have trouble recognizing yourself.

You can’t remember whether you actually did something. . . or only thought you did.

You feel as though you’re just going through the motions of life.”

The Stranger in the Mirror.

When someone shows me a picture of what they say is me I look at it and smile and thank them.

I never say what I see.

Portion of a 3-D Collage on Clarion Alley

That’s how we lose friends.

Rob Goldstein 2015-2018 All Rights Reserved

 

28 thoughts on “The Problem with Pictures

  1. Such an important post! I’m trying to feel it, to “get it” through your words. Can come close, maybe, bec I don’t always see faces…any faces. Well, I see them but they don’t register as individals as well as they should. Everyone can be anyone, unless I pay very close attention to non-facial cues or the faces are so very unusual that they “stick.” Probably that’s why I paint and draw so many faces. Attempting to comquer them? Make peace with them?
    What you describe sounds like it has gut-hit potential over and over again. Thank you for sharing it.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. They’re very much like the 60’s which was another decade in which women asserted themselves in new ways. I just finished watching a documentary about the 20’smade in the 1940’s. The 20’s kicks off with women casting their first ballots in a presidential election.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Not for myself…but I do experience it with Loser, if that makes any sense.
        I know that we were together for more than 41 years but when I look at him, I see somebody I don’t recognize. It’s such a strange phenomena….he’s the father of my four children, yet I almost have amnesia when I look at him. Defense mechanism maybe?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If they’re with another narcissist, it’s perfect. They feed off of each other…and if one needs, say financial support and the other one is loathe to be alone…like I said. It’s perfect! LOL

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Right, and make absolutely sure that a NARC isn’t your rep if you’re ever sick and in the hospital. One of the most shocking things I’ve ever dealt with is the NARCS willingness to lie to my doctors.

        Like

  2. The book is brilliant! I am glad this information has found it’s way to people and will continue to do this. Friendships can lessen or strengthen. Before they do this, we often imagine or even know. Rob, look into the knowing when speaking about your writing this week. Speak directly to your therapist if you choose to. Soothing the pain our inner selves feel takes time, we don’t want to deepen it, yet we also want to be whole.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. The paradigm has shifted. Psychiatry has shifted to the understanding that DID is an extreme manifestation of a normal response to injury and shock.

      I think that what most people find hard to understand is that dissociating does
      not impair intellect. In fact, in many ways it can enhance intellectual functioning even as it cripples organizational skills.

      Liked by 2 people

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