I drafted this in 1985, AIDS had not yet peaked and would not begin to decline until the early 1990’s. It felt like I was living on the edge of an abyss. Thank you, Erika.
I saw too many HIV negative men die from grief, alcohol, and some lost their minds or killed themselves and this is why I’ve learned to view my DID as a half assed blessing. When I learned I was HIV Negative in 1989 I ‘switched’ and ‘forgot’ the trauma of the epidemic which allowed me to return to work, form a loving relationship, make new friends and get on with life. DID is not the perfect adaptation because we must eventually deal with our feelings, and that’why my breakdown in 2010 was inevitable.
You went through so much which is unimaginable for us who never got close to what you had to go through. Unbelievable how much you conquered. I am thankful I got to meet this Robert with all that made/makes him. Thanks for being here with us!!
Thank you for being so generous Erika. I feel obligated to speak for all of the people who are not here to share this story, it’s not always easy to do; comments like this give me encouragement.
And you are an important support and ecouragement for all those who need to see that there is a way (not only people dealing with DID) and that they can overcome so much more than they might think today. Even though obstacles are thrown in their way!
I should put the draft date on these things. This was first drafted in August 1985, I’m feeling a whole lot better now. Thanks for stopping by and asking. 🙂
Gorgeous Rob – words and image. 🙂
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Thank you. I feel as if I’m slowly organizing a body of work.
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I should think so! 🙂
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Thanks!
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🙂 🙂
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Superb my friend really superb
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Thank you, my friend.
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Wow, that expresses well when we are walking at the edge of an abyss.
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I drafted this in 1985, AIDS had not yet peaked and would not begin to decline until the early 1990’s. It felt like I was living on the edge of an abyss. Thank you, Erika.
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Amazing how you could convey that feeling. I am glad this lies behind you and hope that you are feeling much stronger today, Robert!
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I saw too many HIV negative men die from grief, alcohol, and some lost their minds or killed themselves and this is why I’ve learned to view my DID as a half assed blessing. When I learned I was HIV Negative in 1989 I ‘switched’ and ‘forgot’ the trauma of the epidemic which allowed me to return to work, form a loving relationship, make new friends and get on with life. DID is not the perfect adaptation because we must eventually deal with our feelings, and that’why my breakdown in 2010 was inevitable.
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You went through so much which is unimaginable for us who never got close to what you had to go through. Unbelievable how much you conquered. I am thankful I got to meet this Robert with all that made/makes him. Thanks for being here with us!!
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Thank you for being so generous Erika. I feel obligated to speak for all of the people who are not here to share this story, it’s not always easy to do; comments like this give me encouragement.
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And you are an important support and ecouragement for all those who need to see that there is a way (not only people dealing with DID) and that they can overcome so much more than they might think today. Even though obstacles are thrown in their way!
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I believe that if we have faith in our divinity we can be at peace with ourselves and our afflictions.
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I couldn’t have said it any better!!
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I don’t understand why more people can’t see the magic in the world, and the magic that we create just by being alive.
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I don’t know if there are more people who cannot see it. But because they are so in opposition to what we choose to see it can appear that way.
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Great stuff. xx
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Thanks, Paula.
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I really enjoyed this.. great write
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Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. 🙂
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I so admire how you can say so much in so few words. It’s a skill I wish I had.
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Thank you, Mary. It’s interesting to edit the language I used as a younger man. I don’t have the feeling which allows me to focus on the language.
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That’s really interesting. Those changed feelings might make a whole new poem.
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I think it does result in a different poem.
Not having the feeling that prompted the
poem allows me to sharpen the language.
The original draft reads:
Events condense to vague
impressions,
I wear reality as if it were skin
and the slightest break–
and I would bleed to death.
RG 1985
The first line is word play and adds nothing to the poem so I deleted it.
The second line needed a bit of tightening and the closing line more
accurately describes what I was trying to get at by ‘bleeding to death’.
To bleed to death is to slowly lose consciousness and vanish.
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Deeply insightful, and I’m glad it was quite an old piece. Phew. Sending you Day-lilies from down under.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1i7TPl2n2DX3J02Y8X__FMPxr1n5KvFFH
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I hope you are happier than this implies.😕
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I should put the draft date on these things. This was first drafted in August 1985, I’m feeling a whole lot better now. Thanks for stopping by and asking. 🙂
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Wow that’s been a while! But good thoughts coming your way anyway.
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Thanks. I never throw my drafts away. I’m glad I salvaged this. Thanks for the good thoughts.
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Love it!
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Thank you.
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Welcome.
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