Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – One liners Marathon – Part Two – 31- 60

I make no apologies for these one liners… only 333 to go!!!

31.To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

32.Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

33.Two wrongs are only the beginning.

34.The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.

35.A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

36.Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

37.Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!

38.Plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow.

39.If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

40.How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

41.If the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec., what’s the speed of darkness?

42.Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

43.Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him…