His presence, persistent,
I am the curvy wall
under blankets, pressed to black,
but how
these swollen bruises.
He says
I’m his tough little girl
his half-baked boy
his meat
(c) Rob Goldstein 5/5/1993-02/28/2019
Poetry: At Ease
(c) Rob Goldstein 5/5/1993-02/28/2019
Hi Rob. Wow, you touched so many with this post. I’d say that means you knocked it out of the park!
I think this poem is something that has to be felt, rather than understood. Clearly many felt it. And yes, it feels like my own past. You perfectly captured that moment of abuse.
The image — the glossy look is a cool and unexpected touch — excellent. And red is a great match, an evocative color to go with the poem. (I’m having trouble focusing on it — but that happens with me a lot — that I don’t see what’s right in front of me.)
Hugs on the wing.
Thanks Teagan. I hope you’re safe on your journey. I’m working on a couple of projects that have me away from the blog for a few days. I love this critique. I guess if it’s art it stands on its own so maybe it’s art. One never knows.
I feel your pain… wow.
Thank you, Christy. That’s a bit of a mystery to me because I don’t.
I fully agree with Robbie, very dark and heart touching. Thank you for sharing, Rob! Best wishes, Michael
Thank you, Micheal.
This has me crying, Rob! Wow! Heavy!
Is that good or bad, Jan. I’m asking as a writer. Would you put a warning on a poem like this? I really want that kind of feedback because I sometimes don’t have a sense of a work’s emotional content because I’m distanced from it.
It is good, Rob. You were able to put such a depth of emotion into a few words and it reached in and grabbed at my heart. No, I would not put a “warning” on a poem like this. Let everyone judge for themselves and have their own reaction without any prompting.
Thank you, Jan. You worry about things like this. I appreciate your feedback.
Very deep and dark, Rob. You are reaching into your soul here.
Thank you, Robbie. I don’t think a poem has to be great but I do think it has to be authentic. When the reader or listener senses authenticity, I’m happy. 🙂
I think authenticity rings true and makes a poem great.
I agree. It certainly can.
A painfully sad post Rob, but beautifully evoked with your words 🙂
Thank you, Debby. Welcome back from vacation! 🙂
Thank you Rob 😉
The pain poured through in this poem.
Thank you. The first draft of this was hard because to get the words I have to feel the pain. It’s hard to write about this stuff but I think someone has to and guess that person is me. Thank you for reading it and leaving a comment.
You do have to feel it when writing so us readers feel it with you, but I understand how hard it is to do so. I’m thankful you have done that so we can understand. It’s a great gift you have.
After the first draft there i no more pain. Then the piece is about rhythm, form, sound and image, like working on a puzzle. I appreciate your comments. I don’t often think about my process.
I could stare at that first image all day. It’s so visceral. And the poem broke my heart.
I’m glad you like the image and I guess your reaction to the poem means works. I always have mixed feelings about posting a poem that makes people sad. The image is a frame grab from an old home movie that I enlarged and digitally painted.
To me, art (in any form) makes someone feel something. It doesn’t have to make them happy. Your poem definitely stirred my emotions, so it was a success, even if it made me sad.
It’s really cool you did that image from a home movie.
Thank you, Staci. I enjoy using the old films I find on the Internet Archives as source material for the abstracts. https://archive.org/index.php
You describe physical and emotional pain, confusion and misery so succinctly. I hurt for that bruised boy.
Thank you, Mary. With poetry we can distill a moment to its emotional essence. It was a hard poem to write and I guess it’s a hard poem to read. I questioned posting it.
I can understand why it was a hard poem to write and, yes, it is hard to read but I think you were right to post it. We shouldn’t shy away from painful truths. Keeping quiet only enables the perpetrators to continue – and the rest of us to pretend we didn’t know.
Thank you, Mary. I know that you don’t shy away from hard truths. 🙂
Oh John…his loss was great and astounding , how could anyone do a thing like that. His musical talent enormous Your artwork, Rob…great stuff, as always.
Thank you, Paula. I almost chose ‘God’ from the Plastic Ono album but the tone was wrong.
This is a sad poem Rob. Sad for the bruises in life. Sad for the calous actions of others. No one deserves a day in their life treated so.
Much love sent over the Ocean. 💚
Thank you, Sue. This poem is for the abused children in America’s detention centers.
Even more poignant Rob. 💜
Thank you, Sue.