A Graphic Design based on a photograph by Nina Glaser

#BraveWrite: A Lifetime

I’ve spent a decade in therapy to recover from an emotionally needy, gaslighting  narcissist, who raised her Jewish Son among abusive, anti-Semitic, fag-bashing racists, some of them pedophiles, who considered themselves good Christians.

Ironic, isn’t it?

I’m the one with the diagnoses.

What have I learned?

I am a human being,

I have a right to be alive.

When the trauma is drawn out over a number of years, dissociation becomes a way of life. Once learned, it is a fixed part of the personality that asserts itself long beyond the original dangers that prompted it.

This is an illustration of the principle that C-PTSD is essentially a learning process gone awry as a consequence of the child developing in a dangerous environment.  Dissociation and C-PTSD


The effects of long-term child abuse last a lifetime.

This post inspired by the #BraveWrite hashtag on Twitter.

Rob Goldstein 2019

“Los Portales’ (c) Rob Goldstein 2016

32 thoughts on “#BraveWrite: A Lifetime

    1. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment, John. I take pride in the sense of decency I learned as a child growing up in the America of the 1960’s. The words of leaders have a profound impact on our children. I not only believed John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson when they affirmed my rights as a human being, I latched onto those words as a way to survive a deeply dysfunctional family and the physically abusive racists in my community.

      Words like these gave me hope:

      “This is one country. It has become one country because all of us and all the people who came here had an equal chance to develop their talents. We cannot say to ten percent of the population that you can’t have that right; that your children cannot have the chance to develop whatever talents they have; that the only way that they are going to get their rights is to go in the street and demonstrate. I think we owe them and we owe ourselves a better country than that.” John Kennedy 1963.

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    1. In the end, knowing abuse lasts a lifetime is comforting. I can see who I would have been based on the power of who I am now. I’ve always blamed myself for my failures without seeing how far I’ve come in spite of the odds. Does that make sense?

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    1. We’re allowed to have different colors, different ways of worshiping, different cultural values, and different hopes and dreams. What we’re not allowed to do is scapegoat and demonize each other. And none of us is so superior we have a right to decide who lives and who dies. Thank you, Irene, for reading the po9st and leaving a comment.

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    2. I agree with you Irene. We are allowed to live as we please. We are not allowed to create systems that intentionally hurt other people. People who live in States must somehow reconcile our need for civil liberty with our responsibilities to each other and our communities. In my mind the personal is always an expression of the political. When I take care of others I am also taking care of myself. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. I also hope you’re feeling better. 🙂

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      1. As I see, there are huge differences how we look at life in US and in Europe, where I live. For me freedom is freedom to think and say, what I feel is right, so long time, as I don’t hurt others. For others it might be different.
        I do feel better, thank you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I completely agree with you, Irene. The right to say what you think is right as long as you don’t hurt other people is the essence of free speech. I’m glad you’re feeling better. I often check your blog for updates. 🙂

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    1. Thank you, Wendy. I have come a long way and I’ve got more work to do. America also has work to do. Migrant children live in cages for the crime of seeking safety. I can’t think of a better example of the systematic abuse of a class of children. We must end it.

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  1. Oh, Rob. I am sorry. I hope you are surrounding yourself with people who fit who you are and what your spirit needs now that you are free to choose who you will associate with.

    I hope you move on and learn to be free and not bitter.
    From my own experience I have learned my Mom did the best she could. Could it have been better? Hell yes! Babies that grow up to be who and what they are don’t come with instructions and her experience was nothing like I was.
    I moved on and understand where she came from. I am, I hope making better choices and decisions with my children. It’s not easy, but I wouldn’t trade this road for anything. My children are ma raison d’etre.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you. I have a companion piece to this that I’m about to post. I’m not bitter at all, I’m angry to see an entire nation in the grip of the sickness we call racism. I do think it’s ironic that I think of myself as crazy when I live in a nation that lets a nutjob take office after he loses an election by more than three million votes.

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