The Narcissistic Apology

from CynthiaBaileyRug

CynthiaBaileyRug

Narcissists are the most superficial bunch of people you can imagine.  Everything about them is a charade, right down to their apologies.

On the rare occasion they do apologize,  there isn’t one sincere thing about it.  Maybe they say the right words, but I can assure you, there is nothing sincere about apologies coming from a narcissist.

If you’re wondering how you can be sure whether or not the narcissist in your life truly means their apology, I am going to list some differences below between a sincere apology & a narcissistic apology.

  • Sincere apologies always include accepting responsibility for the wrong that was done & don’t shift blame.  Narcissists may say they are sorry for what they did, but then they make an excuse for it.  “I’m sorry I said that, but I wouldn’t have said it if you wouldn’t have done….”  Or, they may even deny doing…

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Chit-Chat with a Narcissist

Narcissist on the phone, frantic: I left for a month without giving you the
money I owe you; why didn’t you remind me?

Me: Because you lie to me, then verbally abuse me when I confront you about it. I’ve already said I won’t contact you until you apologize for both in writing. 

Narcissist on the phone, a tone of concern: But you said you needed the money!

Me: Add gaslighting to the list of abuses for which I want an apology. Bye.

(c) Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved

Dear Pathological Narcissist

Dear Pathological Narcissist,

It is not my job to make you feel good
about abusing me.

Therefore:

I will not pretend you don’t lie.

I will not pretend you’re moral.

I will not pretend you’re just joking.

I will not pretend you love me.

I will not pretend it’s OK for you
to destroy me.

7 Limits to Set With A Malignant Narcissist Before You Go No Contact

Set these 7 limits with a narc before you go no contact, but only if you
feel confident and want to leave room to salvage the relationship.

1. I will no longer tolerate of your lies.

2. I will never pretend that you don’t lie to me.

3. I will never pretend that it’s acceptable for you
to treat me as if I’m blind and stupid.

4. I will never pretend that playing gaslight is not the
behavior of a psychologically abusive perp.

5. Your pathology is damaging to my health and I expect
you to learn to manage it.

6. If you want friendship with me behave the way a friend
behaves when caught in a lie: apologize.

7. You can make this right by writing an apology with a
promise that you will stop lying to me and about me.

Don’t expect the narc to be nice about this.

Narcs react to limit setting as if they’ve been shot.

That’s it.

Then go no contact until you get the written apology as requested.

One last thing: don’t expect an apology.

Infographic that details the traits of women who are pathological narcissists
Traits of a female Narcissist

 

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