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NOT MY SECRET...the journey towards healing from abuse

Robert Goldstein wrote a blog about recognizing himself. If you aren’t following him I highly recommend it. He is very talented and wise.

I was thinking about his post as I was on my walk today taking pictures of randomness that caught my eye and allowed me to be mindful. A piece of grass still alive in an entire yard that was dead, a tree stump with one leaf and one acorn, a piece of fern coming back to live when everything around it had been frozen in the latest freeze, a camellia bush that was entirely red and one that is just like my 14 year old but at least 10 times it’s size, and a few feathers that I consider a reward for my picking up a few sticks in my yard.

As I looked at these photos on my camera they looked exactly as I saw them…

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In This Black of Your Night

In this black

of

your night.

I touch you,

I smell you;

I feel your hot

breath on my cheek

when you whisper

that I am evil

that God watches

that I will surely

go

to Hell

for what you’ve

done.

I remember

and I forget

Why I’m wicked

Why I’m frightened

Why I bleed in pain.

So I lay here,

in this darkness,

in this fear,

in this black

of

your night.

First posted 10/2015

(C) Rob Goldstein 2015-2018 All Rights Reserved


 

 

 

 

The Problem with Pictures

I have a problem with pictures.

We don’t recognize the guy in the picture.

He’s not Rob Goldstein or Mateo

or Bobby.

or Sara

or Felicity

or Peter

or Bob.

He might be Matthew.

When I’m asked for a picture of myself all of my alternate neuro-networks light up in confusion.

Whose picture?

Collage Portrait in torn paper

“ You peer into the mirror and have trouble recognizing yourself.

You can’t remember whether you actually did something. . . or only thought you did.

You feel as though you’re just going through the motions of life.”

The Stranger in the Mirror.

When someone shows me a picture of what they say is me I look at it and smile and thank them.

I never say what I see.

Portion of a 3-D Collage on Clarion Alley

That’s how we lose friends.

Rob Goldstein 2015-2018 All Rights Reserved

mhwgmember2015

Spy Maids! (in Color) Ep. 3

SSSN HDTV
WED, Jan 24
10:00 PM Spy Maids! in Color

Episode 3: Where’s Derwood!

Heads crack as the Spy Maids mop the byways of fashion in their own designs composed of dual action sump-pump ankle boots, Micro fiber Blue Wonder A-Line evening gowns, rotating nozzle collars and special spray and pray Lysol mist fairy wings.

Gina Lollobrigida, Yves Saint Laurent, Joan Collins and Franca DiMontecatini as the Bomb.