When my psychiatrist diagnosed DID in 2009, I was already too symptomatic to work. I had no interest in social media, but I compulsively staged virtual photoshoots in Second Life and posted those photos to my Flickr stream.
‘The Man Who Forgot He Doesn’t Exist‘ is an example of the images I staged and posted.
I still feel like a man who doesn’t exist.
With therapy, I eventually understood that I used my avatars the way a child uses dolls when asked to describe an assault for which there are no words.
Most people are unable to comprehend a person whose different emotional states and memories emerge as separate people with different names, genders, and world views.
It’s easy to dismiss these confusing and unsettling expressions of the mind as attention-seeking irresponsibility.
This short film, ‘Inside,’ is a weirdly accurate illustration of how it feels to be an ‘us’– minus the atmospheric asylum.
A primary goal of psychotherapy is getting everyone ‘inside’ to agree.
I’m not there yet.
I wonder if militant denial is a form of evil.
In “People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil, ” Peck describes narcissism as a type of evil.
I see no difference between the individual narcissist and the cultist tribal communities that plague American culture.
The most horrific aspect of child abuse is that it often takes place in an institution or a community that doesn’t care or doesn’t want to bother. Hence, the adults blame the child if he reveals the abuse or the abuse becomes too apparent to ignore.
The best recent example of institutional abuse is Donald Trump’s detention camps, where children are separated from their families and treated like criminals.
How does a four-year-old escape the horror of a world that feels like a death trap?
A person with DID was a child whose mind shattered under the stress of life in an all-pervasive culture of evil from which there was no escape.
Recovery from DID and C-PTSD involves a never-ending cycle of accepting the damage, managing the symptoms, and healing what I can.
For me, healing means bearing witness to the evil, naming it, and working for change.
I want us to unite to make our world safe for children. I want us to protect them from evil.
Children do not choose to live in hunger and pain.
According to Peck, an evil person lies to himself to prop up an image of perfection.
- Deceive others as a consequence of their lies
- Project his or her evils and sins onto particular targets (scapegoats) while being reasonable with everyone else.
- Commonly hates with the pretense of love
- Abuses political and (emotional) power (“the imposition of one’s will upon others by overt or covert coercion”)
- Maintains respectability based on lies.
- Is consistent in his or her sins. Evil persons are characterized not so much by the magnitude of their sins, but by their consistency (of destructiveness)
- Is unable to think from the viewpoint of their victim (scapegoat)
- Has a covert intolerance to criticism and other forms of narcissistic injury
- According to Peck, evil people realize the wickedness deep within themselves, but are unable to tolerate the pain of introspection, or admit to themselves that they are evil.
Evil thrives on denial.
I’m revising some of my posts from 2015.
‘The Man Who Forgot He Doesn’t Exist’ was first posted in 2015,
I’ve kept the theme but completely revised the post.
I don’t know if I should make a new post but it seems practical to
keep the original.
What are your thoughts?
(c)Rob Goldstein 2015-revised 2020
I first made and posted this video in 2016 — I was going to reprocess the images and add new photos to the video. Still, I decided to leave it because there is an Easter egg in this video, a moment that seemed curiously out of place at the time, but only evident as disinformation in retrospect.
The photos in the video were taken in 2015 when Pride celebrated the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage.
“We Are Family” celebrates solidarity.
If I turned around every time somebody called me a faggot, I’d be walking backward – and I don’t want to walk backward.”
– Harvey Milk
We are everyone, and we will not go back.
Photography and Video by Rob Goldstein
‘We Are Family” by Sister Sledge
‘Torture Monkeys’ prey on pain.
The U.N. defines torture as follows:
“Torture is any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity. It does not include pain or suffering arising only from, inherent in or incidental to lawful sanctions.”
Trump and his enablers torture us with corruption, disease and economic calamity.
Becoming numb to it is normal, but it prevents us from acting to defend ourselves.
The narcissist wants us to normalize abuse and suffering, to accept it as a
‘new normal’ but that only leads to more suffering and pain.
In cases of domestic violence, the first step in ending the torture of abuse is saying no.
The news clips below date to the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic starting with the news of today.
100 days in isolation because your President chose to let his people die is torture.
Watching a parent or a child die because our President is morally deranged is torture.
Watching your President ridicule the government’s best people because they are not corrupt is torture.
Yesterday, Trump and his Republican Torture Monkeys succeeded in their weeks-long crusade to spread Covid-19 to kill more people and drive us into more calamity and isolation.
Friday saw the highest single-day total for coronavirus cases in the U.S., with more than 43,000 new infections. Those numbers are worse than the pandemic’s previous daily peaks. And that’s leading to fears that hospitals in Texas and Florida could soon resemble New York’s during the worst days of its outbreak.
The New York Times reports that U.S. intelligence told Donald Trump in March that Russia was paying bounties to Taliban fighters to kill coalition troops, including U.S. troops. Trump has done nothing about it and instead advocated for Russia’s return to the G8
This is what American carnage looks like.
President Trump’s reluctance to endorse wearing masks to prevent Covid spread has inspired a nation of maskless culture warriors who are putting everyone’s health at risk, including the President’s own Secret Service detail.
CNN’s Fareed Zakaria says the system of checks and balances in the US government is only effective if other leaders speak out and act when they see blatant abuses of power.
Chaos is Trump’s plan and chaos will worsen between now and the election. Expect Trump to cower in the chaos, delight in the discord and prey on your pain.
There is no real plan coming from the White House. Instead every night, carried on this network and others, there’s a two-hour pathological, narcissistic propaganda show in which the president feels some fleeting sense of satisfaction because people are watching.
“America is acting like a failed state”
“So supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light. And I think you said that hasn’t been checked but you’re going to test it. Then I said supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you could do, either through the skin or some other way and I think you said you were going to test that, too. Sounds interesting. Then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute. Is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, or almost a cleaning because you see it gets on the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it will be interesting to check that. That you’re gonna have to use medical doctors. But it sounds interesting to me.”
Former Health and Human Services secretary and Kansas governor Kathleen Sebelius discusses the White House’s “very troubling” suppression of the Center for Disease Control’s 68-page reopening guide.»
Donald Trump has lashed out at Democrats who have questioned his handling of the coronavirus threat, calling it their new “hoax”.
Donald Trump is the President of the United States.
His decision to politicize wearing a mask to prevent the spread of disease, and his sabotage of successful measures adopted by states like California and New York, wasted months of isolation and the expense of living in isolation and caused the deaths of over 128,089 Americans.
Now we find out that Trump knew months ago that Russia is offering bounties to Taliban fighters to kill U.S. troops, and he did nothing to protect them.
The Trump Administration is torture.
Updated July 1, 2020, to add these two videos:
Charlie Savage joins Andrea Mitchell to discuss his new reporting in the New York Times that American officials intercepted data showing large financial transfers between Russian intelligence and Taliban-linked accounts.
It now appears that Trump received written intelligence about this in early 2019 – but did not act on it. The White House claims that Trump knew nothing about it until stories about the alleged Russian plot made the news.
Header image, ‘Torture Monkeys’ (c) Rob Goldstein 2014-2020
This was originally posted in 2015 as an image only post, ‘Torture Monkeys’. I
was going to delete it but wrote this instead.