#MentalHealth: Ten Tips for Blogging With DID

I’ve learned a few things about blogging with Dissociative Identity Disorder in the years since I first posted this.

I’ve learned that most people can’t and won’t understand DID; the people I want in my life are the people who try.

I’ve learned that I do not owe anyone an apology for the DID, nor do I need other people to validate my diagnosis.

I’ve learned that when I’m confused and don’t know what to say, I say nothing.

I’ve learned to understand and accept the limits of what I can accomplish with DID; this is not giving up, it’s acceptance, and with acceptance, comes peace of mind.

I’ve learned that DID makes me vulnerable to online Narcissists. One of my personal rules is to avoid relationships in games like Second Life.

Here are my top 10 tips for blogging with DID.

  1. Never apologize for speaking your truth.
  2. Learn as much as you can about your illness
    and triggers and keep learning.
  3. There are jerks on every platform: ignore them.
  4. Take responsibility when you are wrong.
  5. Avoid making commitments you can’t keep.
  6. Never leave a negative comment on someone’s blog.
  7. Thank people when they visit your blog.
  8. Be grateful for your followers.
  9. Always treat other bloggers with respect.
  10. Be yourself, especially when you seem improbable.

Rob Goldstein 2016-20192020

“Respect” (C) Rob Goldstein 2016

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#WordlessWednesday: Soliloquy

I’m going to level up with my blogging buddies. First, thank you to the people who read Art by Rob Goldstein. You are my teachers and friends, and I am grateful to you.

I have lived alone and in quarantine for almost five months as our President weaponizes COVID19 and divides our nation. I’m stressed and afraid, and this feels like it is never going to end.

Our press and political leaders behave as if we are the powerless victims of a king over whom the law has no authority.

None of it makes sense. I don’t understand why we can’t arrest and remove a criminal president who threatens our nation and our lives.

It looks to me as if Trump and his Republicans are killing us on purpose. Am I right, or is this paranoia?

This confusion and anxiety are intolerable. I am continually dissociating and losing time.

For my health, I have to take another break.

I’m not fond of frequent breaks, but I can’t focus for more than a few minutes at a time.

I’ll be back shortly.

Comments on this post are disabled.

Rob Goldstein 2020

The Header photo is a from a series of Images from ‘Memories of Market Street.’

The Man Who Forgot He Doesn’t Exist

Dissociative Identity Disorder is a childhood-onset trauma symptom induced by an overwhelming confrontation with human evil before the brain can create a functional mind.

When my psychiatrist diagnosed DID in 2009, I was already too symptomatic to work. I had no interest in social media, but I compulsively staged virtual photoshoots in Second Life and posted those photos to my Flickr stream.

‘The Man Who Forgot He Doesn’t Exist‘ is an example of the images I staged and posted.

I still feel like a man who doesn’t exist.

With therapy, I  eventually understood that I used my avatars the way a child uses dolls when asked to describe an assault for which there are no words.

Most people are unable to comprehend a person whose different emotional states and memories emerge as separate people with different names, genders, and world views.

It’s easy to dismiss these confusing and unsettling expressions of the mind as attention-seeking irresponsibility.

This short film, ‘Inside,’ is a weirdly accurate illustration of how it feels to be an ‘us’– minus the atmospheric asylum.

A primary goal of psychotherapy is getting everyone ‘inside’ to agree.

I’m not there yet.

M. Scott Peck, the psychiatrist who authored ‘The Road Less Traveled,’ described evil as “militant ignorance.”

I wonder if militant denial is a form of evil.

In “People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil, ” Peck describes narcissism as a type of evil.

I see no difference between the individual narcissist and the cultist tribal communities that plague American culture.

The most horrific aspect of child abuse is that it often takes place in an institution or a community that doesn’t care or doesn’t want to bother. Hence, the adults blame the child if he reveals the abuse or the abuse becomes too apparent to ignore.

The best recent example of institutional abuse is Donald Trump’s detention camps, where children are separated from their families and treated like criminals.

How does a four-year-old escape the horror of a world that feels like a death trap?

A person with DID was a child whose mind shattered under the stress of life in an all-pervasive culture of evil from which there was no escape.

Recovery from DID and C-PTSD involves a never-ending cycle of accepting the damage, managing the symptoms, and healing what I can.

For me, healing means bearing witness to the evil, naming it, and working for change.

I want us to unite to make our world safe for children.  I want us to protect them from evil.

Children do not choose to live in hunger and pain.

Art by Rob Goldstein

 

According to Peck, an evil person lies to himself to prop up an image of perfection.

They also;

  • Deceive others as a consequence of their lies
  • Project his or her evils and sins onto particular targets (scapegoats) while being reasonable with everyone else.
  • Commonly hates with the pretense of love
  • Abuses political and (emotional) power (“the imposition of one’s will upon others by overt or covert coercion”)
  • Maintains respectability based on lies.
  • Is consistent in his or her sins. Evil persons are characterized not so much by the magnitude of their sins, but by their consistency (of destructiveness)
  • Is unable to think from the viewpoint of their victim (scapegoat)
  • Has a covert intolerance to criticism and other forms of narcissistic injury
  • According to Peck, evil people realize the wickedness deep within themselves, but are unable to tolerate the pain of introspection, or admit to themselves that they are evil.

Evil thrives on denial.

 

I’m revising some of my posts from 2015.

‘The Man Who Forgot He Doesn’t Exist’ was first posted in 2015,

I’ve kept the theme but completely revised the post.

I don’t know if I should make a new post but it seems practical to
keep the original.

What are your thoughts?

(c)Rob Goldstein 2015-revised 2020

 

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June 27th: National PTSD Awareness Day

This is essential information for people with PTSD and C-PTSD, especially now, when so many people will find themselves faced with symptoms for the first time. If you feel anxious and depressed, know that you are not alone. Seek help.

Addicted To Living

(Image source: http://covingtonweekly.com/2017/06/29/disposable-heroes-ptsd-awareness-day/ )

More often than not, people tend to associate the acronym, PTSD, with veterans returning from war. This is because throughout the years of World War I and after World War II, many veterans faced severe PTSD, or “shell shock.” However, this is only one possible cause of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In order to get the bigger picture on what potentially causes this disorder, we should focus on what it truly is: a psychiatric disorder that can occur in people that have witnessed or experienced a traumatic event or disaster. Therefore, not only does war/combat potentially cause PTSD, but victims of sexual or violent assault, natural disasters, serious accidents or terrorist acts can be vulnerable to the disorder as well. This doesn’t necessarily mean that PTSD can only occur from an extreme accident; any event or series of events that causes overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and helplessness…

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