Set these 7 limits with a narc before you go no contact, but only if you
feel confident and want to leave room to salvage the relationship.
1. I will no longer tolerate of your lies.
2. I will never pretend that you don’t lie to me.
3. I will never pretend that it’s acceptable for you
to treat me as if I’m blind and stupid.
4. I will never pretend that playing gaslight is not the
behavior of a psychologically abusive perp.
5. Your pathology is damaging to my health and I expect
you to learn to manage it.
6. If you want friendship with me behave the way a friend
behaves when caught in a lie: apologize.
7. You can make this right by writing an apology with a
promise that you will stop lying to me and about me.
Don’t expect the narc to be nice about this.
Narcs react to limit setting as if they’ve been shot.
Then go no contact until you get the written apology as requested.
One last thing: don’t expect an apology.
Well, some say life, will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I’ve started out, for God-knows-where
I guess I’ll know, when I get there
from Dream Big, Dream Often
YesterdayI wroteabout how I grew up a little bit in relation to my favorite sports teams. The fact is that I needed to grow up a little, but I don’t want to grow up too much. I do want to maintain some of that child-like enthusiasm for life. I don’t know a lot of people who have kept their inner-child alive.
I noticed this week that it is incredibly important to do child-like things that remind us of simpler times; that remind us of what life is really about. Adulting fogs the window of life. Being an adult and growing up is not always something to wear like a badge of honor. Don’t get me wrong I think it is important to act grown up sometimes and be responsible, but sometimes we need to be a little irresponsible.
It is good for the soul to roll around…
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