Understanding your role with a Narcissist in practical terms that will explain WHAT being ‘supply’ to a Narcissist really means!

“…But with modern technology and social sites the Narcissist is now able to network easily and cover more ground with their fake and superficial profiles and keep their secrets so well hidden. They use social sites like a politician uses a campaign to get votes! Basically the Narcissist employs everyone to serve them and everything is based on the Narcissist’s superficial lifestyle. This is all supported by the lies they create to make themselves out to be these charming, moral and amazing people in our world when they are the direct opposite or destructive and cruel monsters in private! They are harvesting supply everywhere they can steal it from.”

After Narcissistic Abuse

From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @ Amazon.com

Narcissistic supply is MANY things but basically any emotional or physical attention, energy, help, support, sympathy, acknowledgement or approval that you give to a Narcissist for any reason, be it positive or negative. It is ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that FEEDS their obsessive, and insatiable need for attention. Remember that they have basically tricked you into their world with such superficial charm or love bombing to harvest you like a farmer harvests their many crops. There is NO love, NO real relationship, NO reciprocation, NO respect given to you as a person, NO CONNECTION whatsoever, just complete nothingness! Yes it seems that they are a HUGE and viable part of your life as in reciprocating with emotions, empathy and LOVE, but the HUGE part is that they are only a façade and you…

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The Weird Collusion of Good People with Evil: Narcissists and their Enablers

Art by Rob Goldstein
I Married Another Narcissist…Again….

The people who regularly read my blog know that I’ve had more than a few dealings with pathological narcissists.

In fact, I’m a typical survivor of abuse in that I’ve normalized behaviors that would send most people running for their lives.

What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is yours? Of course!

I do get how wrong it is to agree with that but it’s taken me a lifetime.

The latest drama in the latest episode of my Mother the Second Life narcissist takes place on Flickr where a Narc has been happily trolling a piece of my Flickr account for close to a year.

It seems that ‘someone’ who administrates one of the art groups I started trolled it recently and banned a bunch of group members.

I’m tracking this drama as a side issue because I took the good advice of letting the group go; I simply won’t waste a second of what’s left of my life in a battle over nothing.

In fact, I now only use Flickr as an image hosting service and that’s only until my current membership expires.

What I find so interesting about this incident is that the people who’ve sent me email about this latest bid for attention from the narc have gone out of their way to assure me that the Second Life narcissist may not be responsible for this.

Now, understand that she has trolled that group for months, I asked her publicly to step down as an administrator and she still refuses to do it.

That refusal qualifies as both trolling and stalking and stalking is a crime.

With all of this,  my closest contacts feel the need defend her as (possibly) not being the troll.


How do narcissists get away with publicly trolling and stalking people and still have defenders?

Any ideas?

RG (c) 2016


lips and fingers

Lips and Fingers
                             Lips and Fingers

lips and fingers


the other side

flip me

upside down

till I

am —

no more

R 2015

The Once a Victim Now a Survivor Award.


I am happy to be nominated for this particular award.

I’ve not seen it before and think it is a wonderful idea.

Thank you to Gentle Kindness for nominating me 🙂

This award is for those who have gone through mental illness of any kind, abuse, trauma, and especially PTSD. Here are the rules:

  1. Thank the blogger that nominated you
  2. Nominate 5 – 10  bloggers to pass the award to
  3. Post 5 questions for your nominees to answer (you may use the same as these below)
  4. Inform your nominees and post a comment in their blog to let them know they’ve been nominated

Here are the questions asked of me.

  1. In what ways do you feel that blogging can help people with psychological trauma  or mental illness?

People with mental illness are the most stigmatized people in the U.S. We cross class and color lines, just as gays do, and just as gays were expected to suffer in silent shame so are we; even as we are denied essential treatments, deprived of resources, and subjected to the death sentence of homeless pauperism.

This is unacceptable.

The only way to end it is for each of us to stand up and join forces and say we are people and we demand fair treatment and the respect that all people deserve. We demand that our treatment providers place human rights above profit.

  1. How has blogging helped you with your healing, or your personal journey?

My trauma expresses itself as Dissociative Identity Disorder. I do not have access to all of my memories. The goal of treatment is some form of integration which will allow me to live without the disruptions caused by trigger switches and lost time. Even if the damage is so severe that I never integrate, I have achieved a high degree of co-operation between my alternates.  I’ve learned by blogging that even though my alternates are not true ‘personalities” they do have a certain degree of autonomy and as such must be treated as if they are true personalities, and honored for the pain they carry.

3. What books, movies, or YouTube channels would you recommend to someone with a similar background to you?

I have benefited from reading The Artists Way, The Haunted Self, and The DBT Workbook. The one YouTube Video that I recommend to anyone who wants to see what Dissociative Identity Disorder really looks like is this HBO Documentary from the 1990’s: Multiple Personality Disorder – Documentary .

It is an honest and fair presentation of DID and the abuse that causes it. It also shows the treatment methods to which we had access in the 1990’s but now don’t, thanks to the current vogue of treating all psychiatric illness as if they are addictions.

4. When did you start your blog and what inspired you?

I opened the blog in late 2013 with the idea of using it in tandem with my Flickr blog.

I soon realized that I had no strategies in place for managing my dissociative disorder as a blogger.

Almost as soon as I started the blog I stopped and took down the few posts I had written. The blog was dormant until October of 2013 when I discovered the blog of a former Kaiser Counselor who was blowing the whistle on Kaisers refusal to comply with Federal and State Parity Laws.

These laws mandate that all health care providers give mental health patients a full spectrum of services based on medical necessity. Our treatment options must be equal to an equivalent physical illness.

For instance, what if we took Schizophrenia as seriously as we take cancer or Alzheimer’s disease?

The law says we shouldn’t still be wondering.

I thought I was imagining the disparity that I saw and experienced at Kaiser until I read Andy Weisskoff’s blog, 90 Days to Change.

I began to use my blog to advocate for better treatment from Kaiser and figured out how to use it to advocate for better treatment for people with Mental Illness in general.


What types of blogs do you follow?

I will follow any blogger who is honest and open-minded. By open-minded I don’t mean that they have to agree with me, believe what I say or condone my “lifestyle” which is a word that I detest. —By open minded I mean respectful of the rights of other people as human beings and those things that we all share in common by virtue of our mortality.

Do you have other blogs?

I have a Flickr account that I enjoy.

I’ve Decided to stay with the questions I was asked so these are my questions. Feel free to skip any questions that you want to skip. You can fill in your own questions.

In what ways do you feel that blogging can help people with psychological trauma  or mental illness?

How has blogging helped you with your healing, or your personal journey?

What books, movies, or YouTube channels would you recommend to someone with a similar background to you?

When did you start your blog and what inspired you? 

What types of blogs do you follow?


These are my nominees:

Heathers Helpers

Hyperion Sturm


Carissa’s world

Kitt O’Malley