The Devil on the Headboard

The Devil on the headboard
he sways and strokes his
beard;

He says his girlfriend jacks off
with the faucet in the bathtub

He says she let’s him watch ‘
cause she loves him.

Now he says prey:

“Don’t make it too hard, OK?”

Since nothin’ says lovin’ like
somethin’ in my oven

he makes a mess o’ Bisquicks

as a feather drifts into my
ear and whispers about rock
stars
and world politics.

(C) Rob Goldstein 11/26/1984 -2017

A Tour of San Francisco in 31/2 Minutes

Surrealist streetshot made with an android cell phone using panaorama feature to create distortion
Vanishing Act

Flickr members Richard Warner and Paul Ewing introduced me to a photographic technique they call Panovision.  They use radical hand and body movements to sabotage the android’s panorama option.

Paul Ewing describes the technique in the Pano-Vision group on Flickr.

Screen shot of Flickr member Paul Ewing that gives an explanation of the use of the panorama option on a cell phone for making abstracts
The technique for making Panovision Abstracts.

The results are shots like these:

Richard S. Warner-On a Hot Summer Day Time and Space are Fluid

On a Hot Summer Day Time and Space are Fluid

Paul Ewing- “Great Lakes Freighter Engine Room”

 

"Great Lakes Freighter Engine Room"

 

Or this one by Rob Goldstein – Deconstruction Site

 

Deconstruction Site

I noticed  a ‘save video’ option on the panorama shots and found the videos as interesting as the still shots so I played with them,  joined them and set them to music.

A Tour of San Francisco in 31/2 Minutes is a selection of Panovision
videos made over the past three months and set to Desert Song
by Dead Can Dance. I dedicate it to Paul Ewing and Richard Warner.

 

 

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The Kiss

VR based digital painting of two mail avatars in the last few seconds before a kiss
The Kiss

soft

       hard

stroke smooth smoothly stroked back

rest chest on chest

                                  thigh on thigh

my hard on your soft

kiss…

(c) Bob Goldstein 1976

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Mental Health: My Many Several Selves

Dissociative alternates have lives of their own.

Alternates can be babies, children, teens, male, female or objects.

Very young alternates may have the limited verbal skills of a toddler.

Some people with DID have alternates that speak different languages, have different talents and different physical abilities and handicaps.

One of my alternates is old.

He has always been old.

When he is out my joints hurt, my body is stiff and it is painful for me to walk..

The teen alternate is 16.

When he is out the body has the flexibility and vigor of a 16-year-old.

When psychotherapy is successful the alternates become more aware of each other and learn to collaborate.

Even so, the alternates come out spontaneously.

I have at six alternates that use Second Life for recreation.

They have no interest in the other members, in part because my alternates are not role plays in a computer game.

Second Life became an extension of our inner world.

Sara is the oldest alternate and is the protector.

She is very protective of the younger alternates and of children in general.

She use virtual reality to play dress up which is exactly what she did when the body was a child.

Sara is a huge fan of Julie London and Morgana King.

Felicity uses Sara’s account.

She enjoys using erotic animations and elaborate costumes. She also writes poetry and erotic short stories.

She likes house music, Grace Jones, Madonna and Britney Spears.

Bobby is a teen.

He age slides from 14 to 20.

Bobby listens to deadmau5, Blackalicious and Dj Shadow

Bob is an older version of Bobby.

He rarely uses Virtual Reality but when he does it’s for horseback riding.

Bob listens to Bluegrass and Classic Rock

Rob is the writer and editor.

He is obsessed with poetry and art will remove anyone who gets that gets in the way of his work.

Rob listens to folk music and 60’s pop.

The Narrator is responsible for co-coordinating the different stories
and making sense of them.

He uses Virtual Reality to make illustrations for our writings.

The Narrator listens to 90’s rock.

Mateo is the only heterosexual male.

He is also strongly identified with the Black and Latino communities,
probably as a result of witnessing the violent racism of our childhood.

Mateo likes Jazz, Motown and soul–he also likes to use Virtual Reality
to dance at nigh clubs. Mateo decided in 2009 to take over the body and
live in VR.

He wanted his own life, hooked up with a woman and started a Jazz Club.

The result was a decompensation that resulted in complete disability.

Loleeta is a male who refers to himself in his writing as female.

Loleeta is depressed, anxious, angry and suicidal. Of all of my alternates he is the one I fear the most because he is the most self-destructive and self loathing. He likes Metal and Goth.

Matthew is the most recent alternate. He was born in 1992.

Matthew is a devout Catholic and was accepted to the Franciscans in 1993.

He did not become a Franciscan.

He met a partner and has been in that relationship  for over 20 years. He is the one who sought therapy — He rarely uses Virtual Reality.

He likes songs about Faith.

Robby and Peter are my child alters.

Robby is four and Peter age slides between six and sixteen.

Peter only listens to Classical music.

The difference between an “inner kid” and a DID kid is that DID kids are like real kids; they are autonomous and their behavior is not mediated by the adult selves.

Peter knows the body is an adult.

Robby doesn’t know this.

Much of what I know about my alternates I’ve learned  from reading chat logs and looking at the pictures they make of themselves.

I do know that they have conflicting memories of the same event.

This page is designed as a reference point; a place to gather the fragments of my life and so that I and the reader can get a sense of the whole person.

Rob Goldstein 2016-2019

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