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There’s Nowhere to be When You’re Being Here Now
28 August 1999 (you got less than a month, right?)
Hey Dude,
Today be Jamie’s birth date day, and we’s havin’ a barbecue
in his honor if he ain’t drunk an’ if he shows up.
Jack be doing the cookin’, I’m on the eatin’ committee.
Maybe we can do it again when you get out, in your honor.
(Oops, I didn’t mean that your honor. No, I won’t reproach the bench.)
I had me one of them birth date days too, 4 days ago.
It was ho-hum, which they get after the first six years.
An I didn’t get no cake… an I didn’t get no party neither…But I turn 38 in 2001 so mark your calendar. (I bet that’s one thing you got good at.)
What did I get, you ask.
Lessee, mmmmm oh yeah! I got a couple of CD’s, an ooh! Ooh! That reminds me–you ain’t seen my stud-o-saurus yet.
He don’t walk softly but he do carry a big stick.
Where was I, oh yeah, the “loot.”
I got myself a couple of pairs of REAL GOOD sunglasses, a DVD, an a
headache.
You got me worried with talk of Bactrin and Pentantamine.
Is the prison doing this for prevention or did you come down with AIDS?
Did I mention Jake FINALLLLLLLLLY moved in, lock, stock, and porno?
I gave up but suu-prize, suu-prize, suu-prize.
Jake was in solitary for 8 months.
Eight months!
I hope they named a tile after him.
I guess I better work up an appetite by staring at food for a while.
Them pills my doc gives me don’t work so good.
I hate it when the present is the past and the future is now.
I guess what I mean is there ain’t no place to be when you’re being here now.
Got that?
Laters dude!
9c) Rob Goldstein 1992-2018
I found this on an old hard drive. The file is dated 1999
The Lambda: A Symbol of Liberation
Gay in its most far-reaching sense does not mean homosexual but sexually, intellectually and emotionally free.
Allan Young , 1972
The Lambda is the 11th letter of the Greek alphabet and in its lower case form is the Greek letter L.
The early members of Gay Liberation chose the Lambda as our symbol.
L for Liberation.
In ‘More Man Than You’ll Ever Be’ Joseph P. Goodwin writes:
The lowercase Greek letter lambda carries several meanings. First of all, it represents scales, and thus balance. The Greeks considered balance to be the constant adjustment necessary to keep opposing forces from overcoming each other. The hook at the bottom of the right leg of the lambda represents the action required to reach and maintain a balance. To the Spartans, the lambda meant unity. They felt that society should never infringe on anyone’s individuality and freedom. The Romans adopted the letter to represent “the light of knowledge shed into the darkness of ignorance.”
Finally, in physics the symbol designates and energy change. Thus the lambda, with all its meanings, is an especially apt symbol for the gay liberation movement, which energetically seeks a balance in society and which strives through enlightenment to secure equal rights for homosexual people.
This is the birth of Gay Liberation as described by Allan Young in the 1972, Out of the Closets: Voices of Gay Liberation:
“The birthday of Gay Liberation is June 1969, when gay people fought back against a police raid at the Stonewall Inn. The Police invaded the bar, forcing people onto the street. But instead of running away, the gay people, led by transvestites locked the police inside the bar, set the place afire, and then threw coins and bottles when the police worked their way out. Participants in the incident along with others in the community got together to plan an ongoing political group for gay people. They chose the name, Gay Liberation Front.”
The Gay Liberation Front is based on the idea of liberating the human spirit and the human mind from all forms of racial and sexual oppression.
Gay in its most far-reaching sense, does not mean homosexual but sexually, intellectually and emotionally free.This includes a vision of equality as a basis for sexual relationships regardless of gender.
From the Gay Liberation Front: Manifesto:
“We do not intend to ask for anything. We intend to stand firm and assert our basic rights. If this involves violence, it will not be we who initiate this, but those who attempt to stand in our way to freedom.”
I used to say it like this: “We don’t want your tolerance. We just want you out of our way.”
Rob Goldstein 2016-2018
Bobby and the Aversion Therapist
Bobby carries a unique sense of self that functions independently of the rest of me.
His job was to figure out how to survive into adulthood.
To survive, Bobby had to hide his intellect.
He adopted a thick geechie accent.
He was tough and not afraid of his Mother.
His goal was to get away from her and his first strategy was to force a psychiatrist to commit him.
Bobby writes:
“One day I found a book called, “By Reason of Insanity.
It was all about this guy who goes crazy and stabs his wife 47 times with
a butcher knife..
He gets sent to the loony bin.
Most of the book was about the people he meets in the hospital.
Some of the people scream and see things that ain’t there.
But the hospital also had food and a school.
I thought hell, check it out!
I got Momma to take me to see a shrink.
The psychiatrist Momma took looked like Mr. Spock from “Star Trek”:
“Is there anything you’d like to tell me about yourself, bobby.”
“Yeh–I think I’m queer.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Well–” I looked up at him and said, “I think about boys when I-you know.”
That got me sent up.
The shrink told Momma that I needed to go to the state hospital for “observation.”
I got all excited since that seemed almost as good as going to New York.
***
The hospital had a place for kids.
It was a tall red brick building with locks on every door.
When Momma an’ me got there, Momma suddenly got very polite, and she gave me permission to smoke.
When the doctor came to meet us, she acted all scared, like she was talking to Grandma.
“Ya’all treat my baby good!” she cried.
Then she called me darling, and left.
***
This hospital was nothing like the one in my book.
It was all shiny inside and Muzac played all day long through little loudspeakers in the ceiling.
Everyone looked numb.
I made friends with this other queer who was a year older than me.
He was a rich kid who went on and on about how he hoped the doctors could turn him straight.
Here I was, fifteen and already out.
I thought this kid was crazy and said so!
“Listen!” I said, “That ain’t never gonna happen. So get over it!”
Well he hauled off and slapped me!
Then he got so upset about slapping me he started to cry.
A nurse came over to give him some pills.
She gave me an evil look.
Like I had picked up that boy’s hand and slapped myself!
I thought she’d like me better if she had to give me some pills, so I asked for some.
“Why do you think you need medication, Bobby?”
“I think I’m seein’ people that ain’t really there.”
“Be sure you tell that to your doctor.”
***
“Tell me a little something about your childhood.” the doctor said.
“Well it ain’t over yet!” I said.
“True enough.” he smiled. “Why do you think you’re here?”
“I guess ’cause I’m queer.” I answered. “Howcum you ain’t got no people screamin’ around here?”
He smiled again. “Do you feel like screaming?”
***
That shrink really thought I was crazy.
Now I knew I wasn’t, but I reminded myself that for these folks, queer was the same thing.
When Momma came to visit she always put on the good behavior that she wore for Grandma.
I said, “Momma! These people gonna do some kinda shock treatment on me!”
“They’ll do what they can to make you better.” she said. “I hope you’re smokin’ like I said you could.”
