Narcissistic abuse: who is the real victim?

This following point also applies in spades if the narcissist is trolling social media for prey: “In any abuse situation, there is almost always more than just two people involved. At the core are the victim and the abuser, of course, but chances are good the abuser has convinced other people–including friends and family members of the victim–that the victim is the real abuser…”

Lucky Otters Haven

adult-workplace-bullying

Narcissistic abusers are great at charming people they want to impress, or those people they want to get on their side. When they have targeted an individual for abuse, they will stop at nothing to turn their friends, colleagues, even their families against them–and it’s not at all uncommon for them to claim that THEY are the ones being abused.   The process of using malicious gossip and lies to turn people against the victim is called triangulation and is well known in the narcissistic abuse community. Most of us who have been targeted by narcissistic abusers know all too well about triangulation and its close cousin, gaslighting. Both will be used in conjunction with each other to turn the victim’s potential allies against them, effectively isolating them and ripping away any support systems they could use later.

Those who have been turned against the victim by the narcissist are called

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That Dewy Morning

 

 

That Dewy Morning

 

They beat me
and dragged
me
into a grave
they said
to bury me
there were so
many hands
I went limp from
fear
And then you came
And we went to Paris
And we talked.
You said Paris
is named for a
tower;
that it has
cobblestone
streets
and is home to
The Wolfman
You said how he howls
in his love for a woman
and how she is
Parisian
but doesn’t love him.
We went to Paris
where the language
we spoke was the
language of thought
And that was how
we survived
that dewy morning.
Rob Goldstein (c)2015

Blog for Mental Health 2015