Racism, Violence, Sexism, Exclusion, Fear

Trauma symptoms were crippling this week; I think I’ve lost three
or four days.

Trump and the Trump/Putin attempt to re-institutionalize blatant
racism and homophobia in the United States is driving me crazy.

A brutal history of cruelty and hate has marched into the present
demanded control of our lives.

A young woman is dead because our President incites violence.

White Supremacists will kill our democracy to preserve a heritage
of spilling innocent blood.

I am living proof of the life long damage bigots inflict on the children
of the people they target.

You can do something now to stop the abuse of a child:

Say no to racism!

Say no to fascism!

RefuseFascism.org

Blogging While Dissociated

Stigma is a prefabricated negative assessment of a class of people
based on lies.

Internalized stigma destroys self-confidence and self-esteem.

People who believe they are unworthy expect less and accept less.

Do I feel shame over my illness?

Sure.

But I don’t live there.

I remind myself that my culture has lied about people like me my entire life.

Everything it had to say about gay and bisexual men was a lie.

The only way to deal with institutional bullying is for the target to say no.

But it’s not enough to say no.

Before I move on to the point of this post I need to make the following disclaimers:

I don’t speak for everyone who has a dissociative disorder.

I am not an authority on dissociative disorders.

I don’t speak for everyone who has a mental illness.

I speak my mind without consideration for political affiliation.

I do not adhere to a political party or creed.

I don’t expect people to be perfect, but I do expect them to practice
what they preach.

If you are a Republican or Democrat who places your duty as a citizen above political party and religious dogma you have my complete support.

And to all of the no nothing skeptics who think they have the right to judge me I make the following statement:

You are not required to believe I exist; I do exist and I’m not shy about it.

People Like Me
The Narrator and Mateo

My subjective experience of DID is simply that of losing time and memory.

My first response to any gap in memory is to try to fill it in with what I think may have happened.

This sometimes makes it look like I’m lying, but it’s really trying to fill the
missing time.

This may be more obvious on social networks than in daily life.

The people in my daily life respond to the alters but don’t call them by name.

Bobby had a chat this morning with the landlady.

She enjoys his sense of play.

The alters come and go without being noticed by people who don’t live with me; they never announce themselves and they all think of themselves as the “real” me.

All parts of me are loyal and all parts of me remember people who treat
them well.

I don’t have alternates that secretly troll, hack or seek to hurt other people.

In fact, my alternates will unite out of love for someone.

I recall a set of interesting questions I got when I won a Leibster award in 2014.

Here is how I would answer some of those questions today.

Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging in the fall of 2013. I tried to blog for a few weeks but didn’t have the focus or confidence, so I shut down the blog.

In the fall of 2014 I discovered a network of mental health advocates on WordPress. Reading their blogs  gave me a sense of focus; in September of 2014 I re-opened the blog with The Chat.

I blog as a way to communicate with my therapist, but I know that publicly documenting a process so personal is a political act.

What has surprised you most about blogging?

That people support me and read my blog. I know I’m not a power blogger but I’m pleased that so many people read me so consistently.

What one thing would you change about your current life?

I want to have better symptom management skills.

What is one special thing from your childhood that you treasure?

My memories of my Grandmother.

What is one of your favorite things to do and why?

It depends.

My alternates have their own focus. Mateo likes to build computers, Bobby likes to listen to music, Matthew is interested in religion, and I am interested in politics.

Most of my political stance is based on life experience.

I consider it cowardly to be silent about economic and social policies that are designed to destroy people.

I think of my mind as proof of the human spirit.

It’s a quantum mind with different versions of me living
on separate timelines.

It offends me that HMO’s treat the brain like a second-rate organ.

I am a man of faith but I don’t believe in organized religion.

Our species has the gift of reason and when we use it we can see the mysterious.

Albert Einstein said;

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead —his eyes are closed. The insight into the mystery of life, coupled though it be with fear, has also given rise to religion. To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms—this knowledge, this feeling is at the center of true religiousness.”

Albert Einstein, Living Philosophies

That is one of the most spiritual comments I’ve read.

Look at evidence of the Quantum Universe and understand that what we call God is everywhere.

We may exist only because only because we think we do.

That doesn’t make our lives less sacred or meaningful.

A digital portrait of a dissociative alternate named Bobby. The photo was taken by a different alternate named Mateo
Portrait of Bobby, 2012 – signed by Mateo before we started using a common name.

 

(c) Rob Goldstein (c) 2015 All Rights Reserved.

First posted May, 31, 2015

MRI Scan in the header from Wiki Commons

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Guest Blog: How to Approach Chronic Pain at Home

Today I have a guest blog from Jackie Waters.

Jackie was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in her mid-20s. Afterwards, she began to make the lifestyle changes in order to
minimize the amount of medications I would need to take.

Below are her suggestions for managing chronic pain:

For people living with chronic pain, finding ways to minimize the pain isn’t easy. In working with your doctor, you may have tried various medications and therapies to get some relief. While they may work for awhile, these methods might not be the solution you have been seeking. There are other ways you can try to approach chronic pain at home to minimize pain and make life more manageable. We share tips for doing so below, to get you started.

Take a Mindful Approach

Photo of a young woman gazing out of a window
How to Approach Chronic Pain at Home

Sometimes people who live with chronic pain cause themselves more pain because they get angry and frustrated and just wish the pain would stop. Practicing mindfulness is one way to approach chronic pain that is highly effective. Clinical psychologist Dr. Elisha Goldstein explains that being mindful entails paying attention to something and giving it a fresh look.

If you are taking a mindful approach to chronic pain, therefore, you will avoid having negative thoughts and judging the pain, which makes it worse and causes anxiety and depression. By taking a mindful approach to pain, you will be curious about the intensity of your pain rather than judging it and being negative. You will stop setting goals and having expectations about how to minimize your pain and instead will create a learning mindset that promotes healing. You will be more aware of your pain and have an accurate perception of it rather than thinking your pain is constant all day. You will be less frustrated, anxious, and stressed, which will naturally lead to less inflammation and less pain overall.

Hire a Housekeeper to Alleviate Pain Caused by Chores

If you are trying to keep up with your laundry and house cleaning, there is a good chance that you are contributing to your pain by doing too much bending, stretching, and lifting. If you hire a housekeeper to care for your home, you will have a better chance of minimizing your pain. If you are concerned about the potential cost of hiring a housekeeper, consider having her deep clean once every other week rather than coming once a week or asking her to do the tasks that are too much for you instead of cleaning your entire home. For example, she may scrub your floors and clean your showers and bathtubs, and you may continue doing light dusting and vacuuming.

Some housekeepers charge less if you keep the home free of clutter and stay organized. When you interview applicants, make your needs known and negotiate a price that works for both of you, given the size of your home, the frequency of the cleaning, and the tasks that she will complete for you.

Create a Relaxing Home Environment

If you have a home that creates stress, you will exacerbate your pain. That’s why you should work to create a relaxing home environment that soothes your mind and your body. The first step is to organize your home and erase the clutter. Add plants and flowers to bring nature indoors. Remove dark, heavy drapes and install light-filtering sheers to allow in as much natural sunlight as possible. Paint your rooms in tranquil colors such as blue, green, and gray. Add accent pillows and decorations featuring your favorite color. Create a reading area that is comfortable and welcoming and include books that are inspiring and uplifting or that are written by your favorite author. It’s important to keep work-related materials out of this reading area so that it fosters relaxation.

Another way to create a relaxing home environment is to add scents that soothe you. Purchase an essential oil diffuser and scents that reduce anxiety and pain. Essential oils known for their relaxation-inducing capabilities include lavender, rose, vetiver, ylang ylang, bergamot, chamomile, and frankincense.

Taking a mindful, relaxed approach to chronic pain at home is one of the best ways to minimize your pain. Work on changing your thinking, hiring a housekeeper, and creating a stress-free home environment to find some relief.

Jackie Waters

Website: Hyper-tidy.com

Contact: jackie_waters@hyper-tidy.com

Image via Pixabay by Unsplash

Please note: this blog post is not an endorsement of Hyper-tidy.com by Art by Rob Goldstein

 

 

 

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