The Cycle of Abuse, Free Your Mind

Some days it feels as if my crazy ass Mother is in charge of the U.S. government.

Animated GIF of a scene from Joan Crawford's Straight Jacket in which her homicidal daughter hurls an ax at her
It’s like I woke up to find my crazy making family in charge of the government.

I found this old handout from my days as a treatment provider in San
Francisco’s mental health system.

It was written for survivors of domestic violence.

Few situations are more crazy making and chaotic than life with a
psychologically a
busive parent or spouse.

Here are 14 points to consider as you work to free your mind from the
narcissistic cycle of Abuse.

There is the difference between humility and
humiliation.

We reject and expose gaslighting.

 

A meme found online that describes the gaslighting stgrategy of denying what is true even when presented with physical evidence
Gas lighting, Red Flag

We call a lie a lie.

Healthy people do not tell other people what they want.

Anger is normal when trust is betrayed.

We have the right to say no.

We have the right to our own opinions.

We have the right to honest relationships.

We let abusive people suffer the consequences of their
actions
without guilt.

We expect friends and family members who hurt us
to know how to apologize.

No one will tell us what to think.

We do not take the blame for things we did not do.

When people violate our bodies and minds we hold
them accountable.

Accepting what we cannot change means changing
what we can.

The self-loathing projections of the abuser do not define us.

A friend who can’t feel shame and admit to being wrong is not
worth keeping.

 

 

Text and header image (c)  Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved

 

 

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New Year’s Resolution / 1986

to be good and help everyone; like help the handicapped and low rent peoples; help ‘em out on everything.

stop smoking weed and be OK like, you know? Start believing more in the Lord, go to Church, and be perfect.

stop drinking and screwing so much ‘cause after 20 yrs the heart gives out.

stay cool now with the Valium an’ them other drug my docs got me on.

remember, they really helping alot!

 

Bobby Goldstein, January 01, 1986

Pet Shop Boys

Words and Image (C) Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved

Being Alive is Not the Same as Having a Life

A bedraggled and filthy young man is confused and
responding to hallucinations on Market Street.

He loudly threatens those around him until he
collapses in an intersection.

The police arrive.

An officer asks him to sit on the curb.

The young man is so distracted by his hallucinations
the officer has to help him find the curb.

The officer asks him if he is going to hurt himself or
anyone else and the young man distractedly says no.

The police drive off and the young man rolls back
into the intersection.

He suffers the lie that mental illness is a choice that
doesn’t affect judgment, and those who have it
deserve to suffer.

Where have I seen this kind of willful ignorance before?

Oh, that’s right! Gays…

50 years ago, the people of the United States universally
believed homosexuality was a mental illness and homosexuals
deserved shame and incarceration.

When asked why someone would “choose” to be homosexual
in such a punitive culture the response of many prominent
psychiatrists at the time was “masochism.”

Their reasoning was that only a masochist would “choose” to be homosexual in a world that hates them.

Therefore, the homosexual derived masochistic pleasure from the reactions of others to the choice of his “disgusting” sickness.

Jump forward fifty years and now we have a society that mindlessly tortures people with Schizophrenia and other chronic mental illnesses.

Being alive is not the same as having a life.

To have a life one must have a brain that can reason
and the ability to use it to survive.

Assertion: Life is unfair

Rebuttal: That’s why we make civilization

 

Meme found o0n Twitter regarding mental illness
1 in 4 people suffer from a mental illness

 

(c) Rob Goldstein 2014-2017

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An Interview with Harold Norse, Part 4: This is going to be Psycho Drama

In this short clip Norse and I are completely relaxed and
in animated conversation.

Norse answers the question I posed at the close of part 3 by
reminding me of a discussion we had before I moved in.

“I said Rob, this is going to be Psycho Drama; not literature class’

My voice in section 4 of the Interview is younger and I detect
a Southern accent.

It’s Bobby’s voice.

It’s odd to hear an alternate’s voice.

It’s also odd  to read an account of an evening I spent
in 1987 with writer, Darell Yates-Rist .

Rist was traveling the United States to write Heartlands,
his book about being gay in America.

I agreed to give him a night tour of San Francisco.

Rist published Heartlands in 1992.

He describes the Cottage I shared with Norse on Albion Street.

Rist died from HIV in 1993.

Part four of the interview with Norse picks up where part three ended.

It’s brief and ends when Norse leaves to feed a parking meter.

An Interview with Harold Norse, Part 4.

An Interview with Harold Norse, Part 1.

An Interview with Harold Norse, Part 2.

(c) Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved

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