Hullaba Lulu, Finale: Ain’t We Got Fun

virtual reality photograph of a male and female avatar as seen through the window of a rocket ship
Gramp’s an Iset on the ship

I know I’m away from my blog but Teagan’s
finale to Hullaba Lulu inspired a closing video.

How does one summarize seven months of great
story telling in less than two minutes?

If you haven’t met Hullaba Lulu head for Teagan’s
Books.

I think you’ll like it. 🙂

virtual reality photograph of a male and female avatar on a rocket ship
Gramps and Iset Skip Town

Jazz Age Wednesdays ― Hullaba Lulu the End of the Line

Time to say goodbye to Lulu and the gang, for now. 🙂

Teagan's Books

Wednesday, August 22, 2018 

You’ve arrived at the end of the line, Shieks and Shebas!  This is the final episode for the Jazz Age Wednesdays serial Hullaba Lulu.  

Well it’s all right, that we’ve been riding around in the breeze. Maybe somewhere down the road aways, you’ll think of me, wonder where I am these days.  Well it’s all right, we’re going to the end of the line.

This is the dieselpunk series, set in the Roaring Twenties authored by yours truly, and illustrated by Rob Goldstein… and we’re at the end of the line!

Lulu blowing bubbleLulu. Art by Rob Goldstein

You can do catch-up reading for most of the past chapters at this post: Real World Tech Review which has links through episode 11.1. 

Warning — this is a long chapter, but I didn’t think it suitable to divide it into more than one episode.  Save your place and…

View original post 4,646 more words

Coping with DID: A Real Victory

Knowing and Not Knowing

The German philosopher Hegel defined dialectic as the process of thought by which apparent contradictions (which he termed thesis and antithesis) are
part of a higher truth.

I use fact and my intellect to compensate for the dialectic of Dissociative Identity Disorder.

This body is not female.

This body is not sixteen.

Sara and Bobby are defense mechanisms activated by things that happened when we had the brain of a toddler.

The higher truth: they are part of the same mind.

I know these facts even as my mind suspends disbelief and enters VR to ‘become’ a teenage boy who just wants to play on his Sim-board.

A digital photograph made in virtual reality of a young male avatar flying a simboard
Bobby Flying his sim-board in 2013

“The goal of treatment for DID is integrated functioning, with eventual merger or fusion of the alternate personalities or at least a maximal level of cooperative and integrated functioning. Effective therapy focuses on the alternate personality system as a whole rather than on specific alternate personalities. The therapist must emphasize the adaptive role and validity of all personalities and encourage the patient to find adaptive ways to accommodate the wishes and needs of all personalities…”

The Rational Treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder

In 2012 my self-system dismantled my internal world and reconstructed it in virtual reality.

The adult ‘me’ disintegrated’ as my alternates discovered  ‘embodiment’ in virtual reality.

When I was diagnosed in 2012 I believed my alternates were separate people.

One of my alternates had a virtual engagement to a virtual woman to get virtually married.

He opened a virtual business and lost real money.

My alternates were not collaborating or sharing memories.

…Some alternate identities may insist that they do not inhabit the same body or that suicide or self-injury would have no effect on them; they may even think they can kill off the “others.” This is an extreme form of dissociative denial, sometimes called delusional separateness.

It may take many sessions to erode this delusion of separateness, because this belief may hold back painful, powerful cognitions, affects, conflicts, and memory material.

from Guidelines for Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder in Adults, Third Revision

I was an extreme case

Mateo thought he could be ‘himself’ full time in VR.

Mateo was willing to destroy us.

Bobby responded by staging an execution of Mateo in a series of images called The Performance Review:

Digital photograph made in VR of a murdered avatar
Bobby executes Mateo in a panel from a series of photos called The Performance Review.

“The goal of treatment for DID is integrated functioning, with eventual merger or fusion of the alternate personalities or at least a maximal level of cooperative and integrated functioning. Effective therapy focuses on the alternate personality system as a whole rather than on specific alternate personalities. The therapist must emphasize the adaptive role and validity of all personalities and encourage the patient to find adaptive ways to accommodate the wishes and needs of all personalities…”

The Rational Treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hullaba Lulu

I usually avoid collaborations with other bloggers because I can’t guarantee all of me will agree.

Making the illustrations for Teagan Geneviene’s Hullaba Lulu was Sara’s idea.

Sara wanted a fresh reason to play dress up.

Sara gave Bobby the role of Valentino.

Valentino, Lulu and Tom Driberg

She gave Mateo the role of Tom Driberg.

Matthew became Gramps and Tesla

A portrait of an avatar named Gramps
Gramps

 

VR image of an avatar to represent Tesla
Tesla

Peter, a child alternate played a bot.

VR image of an avatar as a child talking to a skeleton
Peter: A Skeleton in the Attic

It was Peter’s idea to use the Metropolis costumes for the bots.


As each alternate got more involved, they gave their ideas to each other
and to Teagan and lent their different skills to staging the shoots.

This is the first time my primary alternates have shared their memories with
each other and with me.

Dissociative Identity Disorder distorts the experience of experiencing

I can’t directly experience staging a shoot in virtual reality but the
fact that I can watch it happen and remember it as something ‘I’ did is
a sign of progress; a real victory.

I asked Teagan for permission to write about our collaboration; she wrote
this for me to include my post:

“Rob, this project — your brilliant images and my storytelling — I’ve always said that it nurtured both of us. That was heartfelt. Working with you helped me through an ongoing extremely difficult time. While I can’t ignore that my life has been full of challenges and failures, this Hullaba Lulu and the way we’ve worked together has been a delightful, uplifting success in so many ways. When I look at the images, it’s as though the avatars cheer me on, to keep me writing the story. I wouldn’t trade you (any of you) for anything. You are an inspiring light. Shine on, my friend.”

Lulu

Thank you, Teagan.

Thank you, WordPress.

(c) Rob Goldstein 2018

Jazz Age Wednesdays ― Hullaba Lulu the End Begins

Please tune in to this week’s episode of Hullaba Lulu, now in progress on Teagan’s Books.

Teagan's Books

Wednesday, August 15, 2018 

Bot n Tesla Starts His Car 1Angel-bot with Tesla in his electric car.  Art by Rob Goldstein

Hi there, Shieks and Shebas!  You’ve come to the train station for Jazz Age Wednesdays.  This is where I share stories set in the Roaring Twenties.

The fabulous images for this #DieselPunk story are created by artist, Rob Goldstein.  He also makes pos-i-lutely swell videos that are parallel to the story. Plus, Rob sent random “things” that I used as prompts as I envisioned and authored Hullaba Lulu.

If you need reminders of past chapters, I did a Real World Tech Review post that has links through episode 11.1. 

Tesla Coil, Public Domain Image at Wiki Media Commons

That said, I’m nearing the end of this adventure for Lulu and the crew.  So I’m posting a longer chapter today.  I’m still pantsering, writing in an unplanned spontaneous way, so I’m not sure whether the…

View original post 3,200 more words