To have and to hold

from Raili

soulgifts - Telling Tales

old couple

The other day I wrote a poem about disposable relationships.

Today I write a sequel based on a lifetime of relationshipping experiences.  A mini how ‘to have and to hold from this day forth, in sickness and in health, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…’

When things go pear shaped between couples somehow it feels so wrong  that the world keeps on spinning seemingly oblivious to the hurt, that the sun keeps shining, that people laugh, play and are happy. It’s hard to see the good because the pain can be so big in your heart that it makes every cell in your body hurt.

But there is always a way through the hurt. A path from which learning and growth can be discovered.

When people are hurt or angry, there is a tendency to rant, instead of clearly stating feelings and needs. Of…

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Dowry

from TheFeatheredSleep

TheFeatheredSleep

surrealist_art_by_ray_caesar_5There were no shotguns

no contraception necessary

the sterile

marriage was secret

rushed through with hands in front of mouths

to spare the blush of court-house staff

unaccustomed to women without men

they looked down as if crestfallen

it was fortunate I had not enough time to purchase

a dress

for it had always been my desire

to marry barefoot with knives in my hair

carrying your child to the altar

squirming in my belly

this didn’t come to pass

squinting down lashed road

I see where I dropped myself

in the desert without my shoes

like old coinage without power of purchase

I watched the purple sky

reduce in cold boil

until amber filled horizon

night creatures stirred without sight

I didn’t have a way back

I didn’t have a way forward

this was my dowry

the sand blowing without mercy

scratching at the door

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By the frequency

from TheFeatheredSleep

TheFeatheredSleep

canstock1995090You can discover when you are hurting

by the frequency of things causing anger

to rage like a hot tea-pot

given no respite

you can know when you are in pain

by the diminishment of senses

stillness in one place

as hours tick over head

submerging you in silent trespass

in a life that feels suddenly

void and laid bare

you can ask of yourself one last time

to stand up and listen to the barking dog outside

howl his discontent in a way you may never dare

the buzzing in your head a tickle

mindful it’s not over yet

there is a life waiting, maybe not

as full as some would have it

for there are those who go alone

and those who need a hot air balloon

we are all capable of flight

even if long hidden are our smiles

time

that trespasser of calm

wills us on

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