Felique Dupré in the Haunted World: By the Statue of the Unknown Bodybuilder

Midnight in the underworld, fireflies twinkle.

Hades scratches himself and remarks on the rain, “Wet, ain’t it?”

The hot Sun settles over Jamaica Plains as the F Train find its
way to The Village.

Persephone claps her hands to her forehead and remarks to the old
woman in the seat across from hers: Oh, the unbearable lightness of
being!”

Replies the old woman, “I’m sorry, these are my bad ears.”

“They look fine to me.”

“Don’t be absurd!”

Persephone points through the screen at the writer: “Tell him to don’t.”

“Oh he never doesn’t!” proclaims the old woman. When do you reach Hell?”

“As soon as I relinquish this train.”

“That could be any time.”

“That could be as we speak.”

“But it won’t be you know,” the old woman points through the screen at the writer. “He hates mixing action with dialogue.”

The train slows as it nears the mouth of Hell and stops.

Persephone disembarks; a cat darts between the wheels of a cart and she recognizes the familiar landmarks of her youth:

The Statue of the Unknown Bodybuilder heroically crushing a mound of
squirming women beneath his feet; the 7Eleven where she stops to buy
Hades a fine cigar.

Public Domain Photo of the Statue of Civic Virtue which Stood at the Union TurnPike station in Queens until it was removed in 2015
The Statue of the Unknown Bodybuilder

How the old devil loves his cigars!

“White Owl.” she says.

“Oui.” replies the clerk.

And it is done.

(C) Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved

Statue of the Unknown Body Builder based on a public domain photo of the Statue of Civic Virtue which stood in Queens at Union Turnpike Station until
2015.

Magenta

Her lover

has

left her:

he’s on

the road

now

revving

some

big rig

doing

God knows

what In

the rest

stops.

She saves for

the future.

A fresh

deposit

saunters in

as she

freshens

her

Lipstick.

Eyes steady

she

approaches

and

whispers.

20 bucks

rides

on this,

10 will buy

some quiet

spot;

some place

to spark

his

imagination.

“Living Loving Maid (She’s Just a Woman)” from Led Zeppelin II
The Internet Archives

Words and Image (c)  Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved


Save

Celebrating You!

Happy Third Birthday to Ancient Skies!

Ancient Skies

20170703_214719Well I’ve been blogging for 3 years now and I wanted to say thank you, to all of you!

Every one of you is an amazing artist/photographer/writer! I wish I could follow each one.

And I am so happy with the diversity here. My readers include, Jews, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists and those with no particular faith! Yes!

That is the way I have designed it. I want many groups of people to feel welcomed here.

I’m having a wonderful time, in spite of a number of obstacles. So I will keep writing poetry, and viewing your work.

Peace to you, and thank you so much!

20170703_214700 Let’s rock!

Writing and Images © Copyright 2017, ancient skies

View original post

Blogging While Dissociated

Stigma is a prefabricated negative assessment of a class of people
based on lies.

Internalized stigma destroys self-confidence and self-esteem.

People who believe they are unworthy expect less and accept less.

Do I feel shame over my illness?

Sure.

But I don’t live there.

I remind myself that my culture has lied about people like me my entire life.

Everything it had to say about gay and bisexual men was a lie.

The only way to deal with institutional bullying is for the target to say no.

But it’s not enough to say no.

Before I move on to the point of this post I need to make the following disclaimers:

I don’t speak for everyone who has a dissociative disorder.

I am not an authority on dissociative disorders.

I don’t speak for everyone who has a mental illness.

I speak my mind without consideration for political affiliation.

I do not adhere to a political party or creed.

I don’t expect people to be perfect, but I do expect them to practice
what they preach.

If you are a Republican or Democrat who places your duty as a citizen above political party and religious dogma you have my complete support.

And to all of the no nothing skeptics who think they have the right to judge me I make the following statement:

You are not required to believe I exist; I do exist and I’m not shy about it.

People Like Me
The Narrator and Mateo

My subjective experience of DID is simply that of losing time and memory.

My first response to any gap in memory is to try to fill it in with what I think may have happened.

This sometimes makes it look like I’m lying, but it’s really trying to fill the
missing time.

This may be more obvious on social networks than in daily life.

The people in my daily life respond to the alters but don’t call them by name.

Bobby had a chat this morning with the landlady.

She enjoys his sense of play.

The alters come and go without being noticed by people who don’t live with me; they never announce themselves and they all think of themselves as the “real” me.

All parts of me are loyal and all parts of me remember people who treat
them well.

I don’t have alternates that secretly troll, hack or seek to hurt other people.

In fact, my alternates will unite out of love for someone.

I recall a set of interesting questions I got when I won a Leibster award in 2014.

Here is how I would answer some of those questions today.

Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging in the fall of 2013. I tried to blog for a few weeks but didn’t have the focus or confidence, so I shut down the blog.

In the fall of 2014 I discovered a network of mental health advocates on WordPress. Reading their blogs  gave me a sense of focus; in September of 2014 I re-opened the blog with The Chat.

I blog as a way to communicate with my therapist, but I know that publicly documenting a process so personal is a political act.

What has surprised you most about blogging?

That people support me and read my blog. I know I’m not a power blogger but I’m pleased that so many people read me so consistently.

What one thing would you change about your current life?

I want to have better symptom management skills.

What is one special thing from your childhood that you treasure?

My memories of my Grandmother.

What is one of your favorite things to do and why?

It depends.

My alternates have their own focus. Mateo likes to build computers, Bobby likes to listen to music, Matthew is interested in religion, and I am interested in politics.

Most of my political stance is based on life experience.

I consider it cowardly to be silent about economic and social policies that are designed to destroy people.

I think of my mind as proof of the human spirit.

It’s a quantum mind with different versions of me living
on separate timelines.

It offends me that HMO’s treat the brain like a second-rate organ.

I am a man of faith but I don’t believe in organized religion.

Our species has the gift of reason and when we use it we can see the mysterious.

Albert Einstein said;

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead —his eyes are closed. The insight into the mystery of life, coupled though it be with fear, has also given rise to religion. To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms—this knowledge, this feeling is at the center of true religiousness.”

Albert Einstein, Living Philosophies

That is one of the most spiritual comments I’ve read.

Look at evidence of the Quantum Universe and understand that what we call God is everywhere.

We may exist only because only because we think we do.

That doesn’t make our lives less sacred or meaningful.

A digital portrait of a dissociative alternate named Bobby. The photo was taken by a different alternate named Mateo
Portrait of Bobby, 2012 – signed by Mateo before we started using a common name.

 

(c) Rob Goldstein (c) 2015 All Rights Reserved.

First posted May, 31, 2015

MRI Scan in the header from Wiki Commons

Save

Save

Save

Save

Save