Domestic Violence as a Weapon of War

Children abused by narcissists learn to shut-up and agree

We learn to normalize the brutality of everyday life in an abusive family.

The US Department of Justice defines Domestic Violence as follows:

Domestic Violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.  Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.  US Department of Justice

We use the term gaslight  to discuss an insidious form of domestic violence.

The department of justice defines two critical elements of the pattern related to gaslighting:

Emotional Abuse: Undermining an individual’s sense of self-worth and/or self-esteem is abusive. This may include, but is not limited to constant criticism, diminishing one’s abilities, name-calling, or damaging one’s relationship with his or her children.

Psychological Abuse: Elements of psychological abuse include  – but are not limited to – causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner’s family or friends; destruction of pets and property; and forcing isolation from family, friends, or school and/or work.

The strategic goal of gaslighting is to make a child or partner doubt his perceptions and question his sanity.

As the target becomes more dependent, he begins to doubt his thoughts and opinions.

At its worst the target becomes utterly dependent on his abuser for his sense of reality.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline

Gaslighting typically happens very gradually in a relationship; in fact, the abusive partner’s actions may seem harmless at first. Over time, however, these abusive patterns continue and a victim can become confused, anxious, isolated, and depressed, and they can lose all sense of what is actually happening. Then they start relying on the abusive partner more and more to define reality, which creates a very difficult situation to escape.

Gaslighting is a mind game played by the most malignant kind of abuser.

This kind of abuser has no use for love or morality.

This kind of abuser must obliterate his target’s capacity for both.

This kind of abuser wants your mind.

Animated Gif found on Google of a young woman with the caption We're here to discuss your surrender
The Narcissist wants your mind.

How does gas lighting affect a person’s mind?

Gaslighting is psychological and emotional in its effect.

According to the Department of Justice, ″Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. Even though there is no established definition for emotional abuse, emotional abuse can possess a definition beyond verbal and psychological abuse. Blaming, shaming, and name calling are a few identifiers of verbal abuse which can affect a person emotionally.”

 

Text image that describes the confusion of gaslighting
This kind of abuser has no use for love or morality.

As an abuse survivor I was instinctively aware that something was wrong with the way the press and Donald Trump treated Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election cycle.

From stalking Clinton during the debates to character assassination and threats of violence Trump’s campaign for President stank of psychological abuse.


An abusive man and his political party psychologically raped a woman in front of the Nation and no one saw it.

It was weird.

That Access Hollywood Tape should have been the death of Trump’s campaign.

 

Reprocessed internet meme of Trump's comments regarding his sexual assaults on women
When a man shows you what he is believe him

At any other time in U.S. history a taped confession of sexual assault would be the death of a politician.

Yet, 62,984,825 voters thought Hillary Clinton was more corrupt and unqualified to be president.

Trump emerged from the cesspool of his political campaign with the power of the President.

Even if I factor in the fringe on the fringe right that would gleefully destroy
the nation just to piss off the unicorns called liberals his win made no sense.

Then the leaks started and Trump fired Sally Yates and Comey.

Americans had the chance to listen to the concerns of the men and women who dedicate their lives to saving ours.

And those of us who were paying attention discovered that we are under attack by the Russian government in ways we can barely comprehend.

The best way to for an average person to understand the Russian hack of the U.S. 2016 election is the NATO Handbook of Russian Information Warfare.

Below is a copy of the handbook as a PDF file for you to download:

Handbook of Russian Information Warfare – NATO Defense College

Animated gif of Vadimir Putin saying :It's hard to believe that trump ran to a hotel to meet with girls of a low social class"
It’s hard to believe that trump ran to a hotel to meet with girls of a low social class.

From the New York Times, the purpose of Russian disinformation:

The fundamental purpose of dezinformatsiya, or Russian disinformation, experts said, is to undermine the official version of events — even the very idea that there is a true version of events — and foster a kind of policy paralysis.

One way Putin’s achieves this goal is to deploy an army of internet trolls whose  function is to overwhelm and derail legitimate public debate.

Their battlefields are Facebook and Twitter.

from the Atlantic, 2014

A June article by Max Seddon of BuzzFeed reported the Kremlin was spending millions of dollars to pay English-speaking Russians to promote President Vladimir Putin and his policies in U.S. media like Fox News broadcasting and The Huffington Post and Politico news sites. Trolls are reportedly expected to manage multiple fake accounts and post on news articles 50 times a day, often with sentiments as simplistic as “Putin makes Obama look stupid and weak!”

In order to promote its narrative, the Kremlin has adopted a two-fisted strategy, unleashing its troll armies even as it tightens Internet restrictions at home. On August 1, Russia enacted controversial new legislation aimed at muzzling social media, the last bastion of the country’s embattled opposition and a free flow of information about the war in Ukraine.

Anton Nosik, a popular Russian blogger and programmer who is sometimes referred to as the “father of the Russian Internet,” says the Kremlin is falling back on a time-honored strategy in its propaganda war on Ukraine. But this time, he says, the stakes are higher than ever before. (BuzzFeed reports that at least one trolling company—Internet Research Agency in St. Petersburg—is expected to spend more than $10 million in 2014 alone.)

These trolls are out in force in the United States and they aggressively attack anyone who challenges the Kremlin line.

Copy of a twitter direct message that says You Can't Be Christian and a Faggot
You Can’t Be Christian and a Faggot

For instance, my post, We are Human, was hit by trolls.

The following comment is an example of skilled online gaslighting:

Screenshot of a comment left on my blog post, We are human.
Gaslighting on the Internet, an example


Let’s break it down:

My correspondent appreciates my opinion and tells me what part of it is true. He asks for specific instances of the violations I referenced as if he has no access to Google. He then goes on to repeat the Kremlin line that all governments are cruel and corrupt  and illustrates it with the logical fallacy that an alleged crime by Obama obviates my right to be outraged by the possible theft of the 2016 election.

He closes by saying my fears are an artistic exaggeration (i.e. crazy)  and invites me to share more of my fears.

Distort, devalue and demean.

The comment is a gaslight from the opening sentence to the closing line.

A meme about #gaslighting found on twitter
Distort, devalue and demean

Imagine thousands of paid media trolls and automated trollbots at work 24 hours a day fabricating a false reality.

From Wikipedia, regarding Russia’s Web Brigades:

A collection of leaked documents, published by Moy Rayon, suggests that work at the “troll den” is strictly regulated by a set of guidelines. Any blog post written by an agency employee, according to the leaked files, must contain “no fewer than 700 characters” during day shifts and “no fewer than 1,000 characters” on night shifts. Use of graphics and keywords in the post’s body and headline is also mandatory. In addition to general guidelines, bloggers are also provided with “technical tasks” – keywords and talking points on specific issues, such as Ukraine, Russia’s internal opposition and relations with the West. On an average working day, the workers are to post on news articles 50 times. Each blogger is to maintain six Facebook accounts publishing at least three posts a day and discussing the news in groups at least twice a day. By the end of the first month, they are expected to have won 500 subscribers and get at least five posts on each item a day. On Twitter, the bloggers are expected to manage 10 accounts with up to 2,000 followers and tweet 50 times a day.

Putin’s gaslighting has the same strategic goal as a guy who psychologically tortures his wife.

He wants us helpless:

A page from the 2016 NATO Defense College Handbook of Russian Information Warfare
A page from the 2016 NATO Defense College Handbook of Russian Information Warfare

In most civilized nations psychological abuse is a considered a crime.

In Russia it’s a way of life.

Is this how we in the United States wanna live?

Animated gif of Putin in a business meeting found online
Did everyone sign this agreement? I don’t see your name.

See President Puppet for another post on this topic.

Animated gif found online used for educational purposes
He Said Inarguably Vladimir Putin is a better leader than Obama

 

 And in closing

An animated gif that says When it hits you the GOP was complicit with Trump
When it hits you the GOP was complicit with Trump

Some of the formatting of this post is inspired by one of my favorite bloggers, D. Parker, at yadadarcyyada.com . Give her a visit. 🙂

All images in this post except for the header are found online and are used for educational purposes only.

(c) Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved

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Psychological Abuse online is real and Not as Easy to Solve as Pressing the “off” Button

Bully Free Zone

 

People with trauma related mental health problems bring certain vulnerabilities to their
online interactions.

The same trigger responses that affect our online relationships just as they affect our
relationships in life.

My greatest vulnerability is a childlike faith in the goodness of other people.

It’s a symptom of my DID.

It invites people to try to take advantage of me.

I am also vulnerable to letting narcissistic bullies into my life.

Online abuse often takes the form of communications that are insulting,
threatening, devaluing, and mocking.
When the abuse happens online, the abuser is a cyber-bully.
Cyber-bullies target online activities, communications, and friends.
They will repeatedly send you unwanted messages or other kinds of communication.
They will try to intrude in your online activities and will actively defame you on
social networking sites.
They will gather information from your friends and encourage others to harass you, claiming to be harassed by you.
They will also approach your friends to get information about you or to create conflict in your relationships with others.
Abuse is always about control.
Abusers want to control the lives and actions of the people they target.
Abusers will also use alternate accounts on social networks to stalk and harass you.
From a “Healthy Place”
How to tell when you are dealing with online abuse:
Abusers will engage in:
  • Name calling or insults; mocking
  • Threats and intimidation
  • Ignoring or excluding
  • Isolating
  • Humiliating
  • Denial of the abuse and blaming of the victim
     From Wikipedia
Male and female perpetrators of emotional and physical abuse show high rates of personality disorders, particularly borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder
What can you do to protect yourself?
From ABC News:
1. DO NOT respond to this person. Engaging with the bully often only makes matters worse. They feed off their victim’s misery and pain.
2. Make a copy of the message, photo, or video. The best way to do this is to copy the URL of the specific webpage where it’s happening.
3. Contact the website operators by phone, email and any contact submission forms that they have available on their site.
4. File a report with your local police department.
If necessary, file a complaint with the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). The IC3 is a partnership between the FBI, the National White Collar Crime Center, and the Bureau.
My personal suggestion is that you let your friends and contacts know what it happening and that you limit your online communication to people who are fully aware of the seriousness of cyber bullies and who will work with you to promote safety.

I also recommend that you keep screen-shots of all abuse email and texts.

In many ways I’m grateful to the bullies I’ve met over the past five years.

They have taught me that I am strong, and that I simply continue to be myself most
people will figure out the con.

Social media is a real asset for those of us who want to find ways to live past
the pain.

A bully’s pleasure is your silence.

Don’t give it to him.

RG 2014

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