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I went to the market just the other day

To get some toilet paper in a desperate way

I grabbed a roll an took a poll

“Is it used up for you in a day or so?”

A man in the checkout line smiled and said:

You one silly faggot right outta your head!

I use it scented, I use it mean.

I’m all wiped up like a clean machine!

So I went on home with that in mind

and unrolled a scroll before Suppertime.

donald trumps face on an unscrolling roll toilet paper

Funky Cold Medina – Tone Loc
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Image and poem  (c) Rob Goldstein January 1986 All Rights reserved