Warning: This post discusses adult themes in an admittedly childish way.
(Lights up. An Empty stage; enter Fred Flintstone)
Wilma: (off stage) Fred? Fred? Is that you?
Fred: Here, honey!
Wilma: Oh Fred! Why are you so late! (Wilma bursts into tears.)
Fred: Gee honey, the boss kept me late.
Wilma: (sobs) I sometimes think I should have an abortion!
Fred: Oh honey; don’t talk like that. What would Betty think?
Wilma: Oh, who cares what Betty thinks! (sobs) She’s not under a
contract to have to have a baby!
(The doorbell rings. Enter Mr. Ed)
Mr. Ed: I was just at a meetin’ wit da Mattel’s an deys wanna know if the kid’ll be baked by Christmas!
Wilma: Who the fuck are you?
Mr. Ed: (To Fred) You gotta live wid this?
(Enter Betty Rubble)
Betty: Hi Wilma? Fred? Who’s the Horse? Hubba, hubba!
Wilma: Hi Betty. This horsey works for the Mattel’s!
Mr. Ed: (to Betty) Mr. Ed is my name an makin’ pretty ladies is my game!
Betty: Pleased t’ meetcha! I sure hope you folks can cash in with Bam-Bam!
(Lights Out. We hear the voices of Batman and Robin)
Robin: Holy stegosaurus, Batman! Ya really think you smell trouble?
Batman: Think young friend: does a horse shit in a meadow?
(Lights up: Betty and Wilma are locked in a kiss
Robin: Tsk. I am so OVER gratuitous lesbianism; I mean the way the writers slip it into everything these days!
Batman: Oh, SPLACK!
Mr. Ed: Cool yer chops Batty boy!
Robin: (To Mr. Ed.) And MUFF!
Mr. Ed: And tell lover bird to stop chirpin!
Batman: (Hands on hips) He’s NOT my lover!
Wilma: Oh, pish-posh!
Betty: That’s telling him, Wilma!
(Enter Eva Gabor; she spots Mr. Ed and points with recognition)
Eva Gabor: I know you!
Batman: I bet you do, lady!
Eva Gabor: That’s precisely what I mean!
(Enter Eddy Albert)
Eddy Albert: What is you mean precisely?
Eddy Albert: Precisely!
Eva Gabor: Why precisely do you ask, Olivah?
Betty: (To Wilma) Oh Wilma! Aren’t Heterosexuals the most boring! Let’s get outta here!
Wilma: I’m with you Betty! Let’s have an abortion!
Betty and Wilma in unison: Da-da da da de da! Charrrge it! (They exit)
Batman: Our work here is done, Robin.
Robin: Right, Batman! (They exit with a swish of their capes)
(Enter Fred Ziffel)
Fred Ziffel: Mr. Douglas! Arnold’s feelin’ mighty sick! I’d sure appreciate it if you’d come over and take a look at him!
Eddie Albert: I’m a lawyer, not a doctor.
Eva Gabor: You can help him make out his vill, dahling!
Eddie Albert: Oh, All Right! (Mr. Ziffel and Eva Gabor exit with Eddie Albert)
Fred Flintstone: (Looks at Mr. Ed and shrugs) I guess it’s time for me to take out the cat. (Fred Flintstone exits. Mr. Ed alone on the stage)
(Enter Wilber Post)
Wilber Post: There you are, Ed. I looked all over New York for you! I even called the police!
Mr. Ed: Well ya found me, Wilber. Ya got any of that hay left over from Thanksgiving?
Wilber Post: Sure Do!
(Wilbur post leads Mr. Ed off stage. As the lights dim to black the laugh track builds to a roar)
(c) Rob Goldstein 12/86 – 12/2017 All Graphics (c) Rob Goldstein 2017 All Rights Reserved
Excellent post from the Modern Philosopher
Great Wrap-up of the first debate
~~September 27, 2016~~
SURVIVED THE FIRST DEBATE
Over and done.
I felt apprehensive as I waited for the first debate, I must confess.
I watched the full 90 minutes.
By the time about 20 minutes had gone by, I was at peace, breathing much easier.
I knew what was going to happen.
He unraveled, she stood steadfast.
Yes, Secretary Clinton was the winner.
It’s not my judgement, it’s the ‘peoples’ judgement.
I have my choice.
It’s always interesting to see other people’s take.
When there’s humor, it’s even better.
Here are some late night shows’ perspective.
I do not own these images.
No intention of taking credit.
If anyone knows the owner of any, please advise and it will be corrected immediately.
#ToStartTheDay #FirstDebate2016 #HillaryClinton #DonaldTump #TruthInJest #PresidentialCampaign #PresidentialCandidate #TheDailyShow #TrevorNoah #TheLateShow #StephenColbert #ACloserLook #FirstPresidentialDebate #LateNight #SethMeyer #LateNightShows #Humor #Satire #Television #TelevisionHosts
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