I celebrate my tears 

Souldier Girl


I celebrate my tears

For the little girl who was put in the corner

With the hypnotic sway of the pointing finger

“Don’t you dare cry”

Over and over

…like a lullaby

I celebrate my tears

For the years of pushing them down

To a dungeon I forgot about

Because

“Tears are a sign of weakness”

So I smiled harder and forced them into secret

I celebrate my tears

Because when my baby died

Everyone was allowed to lose their minds

Except me

I was positioned to remain

“Nice and neat”

And keep tears hidden

In between the sheets

When he is passed out asleep

In the shower for hours screaming

As long as no one was home

…to listen

I celebrate my tears because the

Chains are being broken

And my tears are the ones seeking their freedom!

They run down my cheeks

In an overzealous reaction

They stream…

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Biting Down 

From Souldier Girl

Souldier Girl

I’m finding it hard to concentrate

Thoughts speaking without raising their hands
Raising their voices
Without being called on
Problems scribbled on the blackboard of my heart
Lacking a solution for their missing parts
Attempts to steady my shaking hands
Replacing God where there was once man
I try to sit alone and quiet down
A smile traced on my face
…They all think she is ok
What if life behaved in an opposite way?
Where we just spoke the truth
Of how we really were on any given day
I would say,
…I am biting down with weak teeth
I am spitting out these words just to stop the nervous tweaks
I am holding it all in
I am under the water, freezing my breath
…becoming the hustler of life’s test
Shadowboxing the unrest
The hive is loose
And it is I they seem to choose
Their stings…

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Ain’t no Sunshine…

Souldier Girl

Today my smile

Was held in place

By the frame of a mental corset

Begging to come undone

Working without thinking

For my mind was off twisting

In memories reoccurring


And oh when I finally came home!

Ripping the corset

Like a dog uncovering old bones

The remains of a smile

Broken in a twirling puddle

This is how mama misses

…her baby girl


Eight years ago this week I lost my sunshine. I miss her so much. ❤️

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