A Searchlight Soul

from Respect the Blankie

Respect the Blankie


JC Schildbach, LMHC

Chester Bennington completed suicide by hanging on Chris Cornell’s birthday, just over a month after Chris Cornell completed suicide by hanging on the 37th anniversary of Ian Curtis’ suicide by hanging.

For those unfamiliar, Bennington was best known as the lead singer of Linkin Park; Chris Cornell was best known as the lead singer of Soundgarden; and Ian Curtis was best known as lead singer of Joy Division.

Now, Linkin Park’s music makes me want to grind my teeth, spit, and curse—and not in a good way. And I never got into Joy Division beyond owning a ‘greatest hits’ collection for a few years as an undergrad. I am, however, a big fan of Soundgarden, as well as another of Cornell’s bands, Audioslave—not such a big fan that I ever made it to a concert. But, living in Seattle, I would see members of the…

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Suicide: When Your Sorrow Feels Too Dark

You are NOT alone

The Invisible Scar

[photo credit: flick user darren bertram] [photo credit: flick user darren bertram] Sometimes, adult survivors of emotional child abuse feel a deepening sadness that grows heavier and heavier with time. The burden of it can feel too much to carry… and they may think about suicide.

So, we need to talk about suicide… and to discuss it with compassion and without judgment.

Let’s drag this howling monster from the shadows and force it to the spotlight, so we can see what it truly is and talk about finding help to battle suicidal thoughts.

Don’t be afraid to discuss this subject. The mention of the word “suicide” will not summon death. It is not an evil spell that a person can cast. Most importantly, we can weaken suicide’s seemingly overwhelming power when we discuss it and seek healthier solutions for such severe depression.

After all, suicide is a tragic death… and yet it can be preventable

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Dissociative Identity Disorder: The Protector

Protector alters save the original and other personalities from intolerable or life threatening environments and people.

A Protector can be any age and gender

The reason I’m female is that women had the power; and our Mother was nicer to girls.

The day I became a protector Mother was beating the little boy with a stick.

We were five.

Mother stopped and I grabbed the stick and bashed her as hard as I could.

She was so shocked that she stopped using the stick on us.

There are other protectors, such as The Narrator and Mateo.

People Like Me
The Narrator and Mateo are Protector alternates.

I protect the body.

Why am I still needed?

A survey of 5,877 people across the United States, found that people who had experienced physical or sexual assault at some point in their life are likely to attempt suicide

Nearly 22% of people who had been raped had also attempted suicide at some point in their life.

People with histories of childhood sexual assault combined with prolonged periods of  physical and psychological abuse have the most successful suicide attempts  About Health

If you’re feeling suicidal call your doctor, psychiatrist or dial 911.


You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

Art by Rob Goldstein
“No one commits suicide on my watch.”

Rob Goldstein 2016-2018

Julie London – Why don’t you do right
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